Can You Invite Someone To A Bachelorette Party And Not The Wedding

Can You Invite Someone To A Bachelorette Party And Not The Wedding

While this is often considered a grey area of wedding etiquette, the right thing to do is very straightforward. Anyone invited to any pre-wedding events whether it's an engagement party, bridal shower, the bachelor/bachelorette or rehearsal dinner should also expect a wedding invitation in their mailbox. Why? Prewedding parties are kind of like save-the-dates in that they're forerunners to the main event. You wouldn't send a save-the-date to someone who wasn't invited to your wedding. That would be like saying, "Here's a sneak preview of what you're not invited to"—which is a serious no-no.

We know your bachelor/bachelorette party most likely isn't super formal. It is more of a fabulous get-together with wedding party members and maybe a few other close friends and relatives. But that doesn't mean it doesn't count as a prewedding event with a critical guest list and some thought behind it. Can you imagine how hurt you'd be if your friend invited you to join their bachelorette party (and, don't forget, help chip in financially) without inviting you to the wedding? Not cool. Make sure everyone invited to your bachelorette party gets a wedding invite too. And if you don't want to invite them to your wedding, they definitely should not be on the guestlist for your bachelorette/bachelor party—no matter how much fun they are.

Inviting Non-wedding Guests To The Bridal Shower Or Bachelorette Party

If you’re having a small wedding, this means you have to sit down and cut the guest list to fit the appropriate amount of people. However, this isn’t always easy. You may not realise how many supporters, friends and family you have in your life until you examine your guest list. But there may be one solution for inviting loved ones: Ask them to come to the bridal shower or bachelorette party, but not the wedding. Looking for hens ideas Melbourne? Look no further, Magic Men has you covered.

More and more couples are opting for smaller weddings, and it’s becoming increasingly popular to host showers or parties that include guests who did not receive wedding invitations. Teams may also want to invite those who can’t attend the wedding so that these guests can still take part in some of the wedding festivities. Often, brides may like to invite someone who cannot attend the wedding on that date or a few coworkers she is close with but cannot fit on the guest list.

This means you have to be very careful when it comes to the wording on your invites for events like the bridal shower and bachelorette party. Take these wording samples, for example:

For a small wedding and a larger shower: 

The bride is hosting a private wedding; please help us celebrate at the bridal shower (or bachelorette party)

For a destination wedding and a local shower: 

Before the bride departs for her wedding, let’s celebrate with a bridal shower (or bachelorette party)

You could keep it brief: 

Please help us celebrate at the bridal shower (or bachelorette party) instead of attending the wedding. This makes it clear what they are and aren’t invited to.

This way, your guests still feel like a part of the celebration without being offended that they won’t be able to attend the actual wedding. Be sure to double-check the guestlist for any wedding-related events to avoid any awkward situations.

Is It Okay to Invite People to the Bachelor Party Who Aren't Invited to the Wedding?

Planning a bachelor party comes with a lot of unknown territory for those who haven't previously organised this type of event. One question we frequently hear is about the guest list. Can the groom (or his best man) invite someone to the bachelor party who isn't invited to the wedding? Here, the answer to this (and other) queries about the bachelor party guest list. Are you looking for hens ideas? Look no further, Magic Men has you covered.

Who gets invited to the bachelor party?

The bachelor party's guest list should be made up of groomsmen and good friends or family members invited to the wedding. Generally speaking, the best man will serve as the host and should handle inviting the rest of the party's guests. In addition to letting the groomsmen know the plan, the best man should also personally invite siblings of the bride and groom who are not part of the wedding party. Depending on the activities planned, you may want to invite the dads, too.

So, who writes the guest list?

It's often necessary to ask the groom who he'd like to invite you to attend his bachelor party, as there may be a few friends or colleagues the hosts haven't considered. The groom should be asked if he wants to include his father and future father-in-law in the festivities and any other friends who are not part of the wedding party.

Does that mean we can't invite old friends?

If those old friends aren't invited to the wedding, it's merely impolite to include them at the bachelor party. Assuming they will be going to the wedding, though, it's entirely acceptable to invite them to the bachelor party, too.

So, can we invite friends to the bachelor party who aren't invited to the wedding?

Nope. If this person is close enough to you that you'd like them to be present at the bachelor party, why wouldn't you want them to be present at your wedding? It isn't nice to extend the pre-wedding party invite to anyone who isn't going to be invited to the main event, so consider your relationship and reevaluate your wedding guest list if necessary.

Who Should You Invite to the Bachelorette Party?

As you compile the bachelorette party guest list, it’s normal to ask who should get an invitation. Is it just members of the bridal party or can other close friends and family members be included? How many guests is considered too many? Below we’ve addressed some common concerns that may come up while making a list.

Who creates the bachelorette party guest list?

The maid of honour typically heads up the bachelorette party planning committee, but the bride should have a say in who's on the guest list. We recommend scheduling a chat between the maid of honour and the bride to discuss who should be invited to the bachelorette party, so everyone agrees. Once the invitee list is finalised, the maid of honour can move forward with planning and inviting. 

How many people typically attend a bachelorette party?

According to a WeddingWire study, bachelorette parties have an average of ten attendees, which is two more attendees than bachelor parties. Your guest list can certainly include fewer or more than that number, but inviting too many guests (more than 15 or so) can make coordinating difficult. 

Does the bachelorette party have to be exclusive to bridesmaids?

Not! There’s no clear-cut rule that states the party is for the maid of honour and bridesmaids only, making the guest list super flexible. The bachelorette party is open to whoever the bride-to-be wants by her side on her special night out, be they other close friends, family members, or other loved ones. This is an excellent opportunity to invite friends who aren’t in the bridal party but are still important. Remember, too, that a bachelorette party does not have to be all female—if there are male or non-binary folks the guest of honour counts among her closest friends or family, they should be invited as well. And this should go without saying, but anyone invited to the bachelorette party should also be invited to the actual wedding. 

I know one of the girls is on a tight budget/has a packed schedule and we’re going on a long bachelorette weekend trip, should I still invite her?

In terms of party etiquette, inviting her is the courteous thing to do. If you’re putting together an email chain, loop her in although she can’t make it. Things could change at the last minute, and she may be able to make it, after all, so she should have all the information. You might also consider planning a more low-key event after the primary bachelorette weekend, like a special dinner or brunch, that all of the bridesmaids can attend. 

Do I have to invite her sister-in-law?

There’s no hard-and-fast rule that says whether you should or shouldn’t invite her. It all depends on the relationship they have. If she is part of the bride's friend group or at the wedding party, she should be invited to the bachelorette bash. However, if they don’t have a close-knit relationship, it could be a bit trickier. Our advice would be to invite her future sister-in-law, to avoid awkward tension or issues down the line. Who knows, she may decline the invitation, but she’ll certainly appreciate the sentiment.

Should I invite the mother of the bride? They’re close.

If the bride-to-be considers her mum, her best friend and wants her to be a part of the festivities, Mom can be invited. Remember, bachelorette parties don’t always have to be wild or trip to Vegas. More low-key party ideas like a vineyard tour or a spa getaway are something her mom would be happy to be a part of. And even if you're planning a raucous night on the town, you can invite Mom to a more relaxed brunch the next day so she'll feel included in the festivities. 

What about co-workers?

Typically, co-workers are not invited to a bachelorette party (who knows what shenanigans will get back to the boss?). Still, if the bride counts her colleagues among her closest friends (and they'll be invited to the big day, as well), then you can extend them an invitation to the bash. Again, it's worth having a conversation with the bride to discuss her comfort level by inviting co-workers to the big event. 

How many people is too many?

It depends on the type of celebration. If you’re travelling to a destination and have to deal with booking hotel rooms, keep the logistics of reserving hotel rooms and booking flights in mind. In this case, limiting the invitees to a smaller number might make things easier. However, if you’re staying in town for the bachelorette weekend or night out, you can ing a bigger crowd.

Do I have to send out printed bachelorette party invitations?

Usually, bachelorette party invitations are sent more informally, like via email. Those invited can then RSVP via email or text to the head planner (likely the maid of honour). Once the attendee list is finalised, a text chain or private social media group can be set up to discuss details such as travel, accommodations, and more. 

​Do the I have to invite the same people to the bachelorette party as I do to the bridal shower?

The bridal shower guest list is usually quite a bit larger than the bachelorette parties. While the bachelorette party usually includes the bride's wedding party members and closest friends, the bridal shower adds a broader circle of loved ones, including family friends, relatives, and more. Again, while traditionally a bridal shower was an all-female affair, it should be open to male and non-binary loved ones as well. When it comes to differentiating the two guest lists, the bachelorette should be kept to the bride's nearest and dearest, while for the bridal shower, the more, the merrier! Searching for the best Melbourne hens party? Give Magic Men a call.

Who Should You Invite to a Bachelorette Party?

The bride should make a list of people she’d like to invite you to her special day or weekend. While traditionally this list would have been all women, modern brides with coed or non-traditional wedding parties might want to have their close male friends or siblings attend. Go with whatever the bride wants here: this is her celebration! Commonly these folks make it onto the bachelorette party invite list:

The bridal party

  • Close friends of the bride
  • Siblings, soon-to-be-siblings, or same-age relatives of the bride
  • Co-workers of the bride who will also be invited to the wedding

The party planner(s) should send out invitations to the bride’s list, collect RSVPs, and begin planning according to the total number of attendees. Invitations to a bachelorette party can be more casual than for a bridal shower or rehearsal dinner, but there are few options when it comes to formality:

  • Most Formal: If you have the time and prefer formality, print paper invitations and send them through the post.
  • Mid-Level Formal: Use an online invitation company to send beautifully designed, customised digital invites through email. This option can make gathering RSVPs much more comfortable, not to mention it’s less expensive than paper.
  • Least Formal: Send a group email to the list announcing plans for the bachelorette party. This can be a quick way to get the word out, see who can make it, and begin a dialogue for planning the festivities.

Who Should You NOT Invite to a Bachelorette Party?

While the philosophy of “the more, the merrier” is lovely in theory, there is a limit to whom you should invite to a bachelorette party. This limit has to do with the bride’s feelings and make sure that she has the best possible experience relaxing, exploring, and generally living it up with her closest crew. With that in mind, here are some folks whom you might want to keep off the invitation list:

  • The bride’s mother, stepmother, or senior relatives: Having an older generation of relatives around might force the bride to celebrate in a different way than she’d prefer to if there were just her age-peers present.
  • Anyone who’s not invited to the wedding: Avoid an awkward situation due to this, only inviting the person who will also be invited to the main event.
  • Anyone who struggles with group dynamics: This can be tricky to navigate, but we all know or have those friends who are great one-on-one but lack the social skills for group settings. Whether it’s attention-seeking behaviour, poor decision making, or making others feel uncomfortable, consider the group dynamic when choosing whom to invite.
  • Any (current or former) significant others of the bride’s exes: Again, consider the bride’s feelings here. Reminders of her exes are not what she wants or needs on her bachelorette weekend.

However, be sure to check with the bride before finalising a guest list. She may want her mom there, for example, depending on the relationship.

 

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