Your honeymoon may be one of the most important trips you and your partner ever take together. It's the one fantastic trip where you both get to shake off all those wedding stressors and jitters and be yourselves together — now as a married couple. You get to leave your pets with a sitter, and any children with their grandparents as the two of you spend some much needed time alone and enjoy just being married.
But here's the big question: Who pays for the honeymoon?
The question of who pays for the honeymoon has shifted over the years as certain norms and traditions have changed. Traditionally, the groom's family paid for the honeymoon, but like every wedding, no two couples are alike — and neither are their families. The question of who pays for the honeymoon often depends on family relationships, traditions, and, of course, the couple's personal preference. Looking for Melbourne hens ideas to make sure you and your friends can enjoy hens party? Magic Men has you covered.
If you're having trouble deciding who pays for the honeymoon and how you should decide which route to take, we're here to help. Keep reading to learn more about who pays for the honeymoon and how a honeymoon fund like Hitchd can help make your honeymoon the trip of a lifetime.
Table of Contents
- 1 For traditional couples
- 2 For modern couples
- 3 The pros and cons of paying for your honeymoon
- 4 Who Pays for the Honeymoon?
For traditional couples
Traditional couples tend to style their weddings as maybe their parents or grandparents once did. They have never lived together, and they may be still living at home with their respective parents. They might also come from religious backgrounds that frown upon couples living together before marriage. When they marry, they may move in with one or the other's parents and save money before buying their own home.
In these more traditional settings, the groom or the groom's parents usually pay for the honeymoon. The bride's family usually handles the wedding costs, and the groom or his family would take the honeymoon.
It used to be that the groom would plan a memorable trip for his new wife and surprise her with the destination and all of the details at the reception. The goal would vary. Some grooms would plan exotic honeymoons to Mexico or the Caribbean, but a honeymoon at Niagara Falls or even Las Vegas was famous for more modest couples.
Suppose the groom's family was planning the trip, how they planned it usually varied. Sometimes, the parents present the couple with a check and an amount to spend on the honeymoon. Other parents can be more involved, and they'll choose the destination, hotel and a few activities.
While it can be great for couples to get a free honeymoon from the groom's parents, it can cause some issues, which we'll discuss later.
If you recognise your family and wedding style in this traditional couple, then you and your partner should sit down with the groom's family and discuss their plans for your honeymoon. It's never easy to discuss money, but it's better to know what they think so you're all on the same page. If they insist on keeping it all a surprise, you may want to let them know some places where you would not be comfortable going.
For grooms planning the honeymoon, you too should ask your partner if there's a place he or she may not want to go. Just because you want to go skiing doesn't mean your partner does too.
For modern couples
As more and more couples decide to pay for the wedding themselves, they may choose to pay for the honeymoon as well if they're able to afford it. It's also not uncommon for couples to put off their honeymoon for a short amount of time and wait until they can pay for the trip themselves. Some teams treat themselves to their honeymoons when their first anniversary rolls around.
Modern couples set their way for how they're going to structure their wedding and honeymoon. They've likely lived together for a year or maybe more, which means they've already gotten a head start on building their home. They may still have religious wedding ceremonies, but they may pick and choose which traditions they'd like to include.
With modern couples, the question of who pays for the honeymoon can differ from team to couple. The honeymoon may be a gift from a parent of either a person or a set of grandparents may decide to pay in place of a physical gift. As more and more couples decide to pay for the wedding themselves, they may choose to pay for the honeymoon as well if they're able to afford it.
It's also not uncommon for couples to put off their honeymoon for a short amount of time and wait until they can pay for the trip themselves. Some teams treat themselves to their honeymoons when their first anniversary rolls around.
The pros and cons of paying for your honeymoon
Whether you're a traditional or modern couple, the question of who pays for the honeymoon should be looked at from all angles, and just because your family is traditional doesn't mean you have to forgo any control over your honeymoon. So let's go over the pros and cons of each scenario. Check out a range of Magic Men’s hens party ideas to help in your upcoming party.
The groom pays for the honeymoon.
If you're not the groom, this probably seems like a great situation to be in. If you are the groom, this may seem overwhelming. If you think about it though, the bride will be planning the whole of the wedding. The groom should find some time to book some tickets and plan a fun trip for the two of them.
This does still put an enormous burden on the groom, who may not be able to afford an extravagant honeymoon all on his own. He might also feel it's unfair to have to pay for the entire trip on his own, and it could cause friction between the couple.
And of course, for couples with two grooms, is it fair to saddle just one partner with the cost of paying for the honeymoon? Or what if there's no groom at all? This solution is far from full-proof. Marriage is a partnership and should be viewed that way for all partners.
The groom's family pays for the honeymoon.
The groom's family may offer to pay for the honeymoon as their gift to the couple. On the one hand, this can lift a significant financial burden for the couple, who might not otherwise have been able to independently afford a honeymoon. Instead of staying reasonably local, having the groom's family pay for the honeymoon might mean that the couple can go somewhere they've always wanted to go.
However, since someone else is paying for the trip, it takes some control away from the couple. For example, the groom's parents might not afford the type of honeymoon the couple would prefer. The parents might send them anywhere in the country, but if the couple would instead go to another country for their honeymoon, this may not be doable.
It can also be hard to talk about money and boundaries with parents. Some parents might set up couples in economy hotels, whereas the team would prefer to stay at a resort or upscale location. When it's someone else's money though, it can be difficult to tell someone when you don't like something or would like something changed.
There is also the chance that the parents will push boundaries with the couple and ignore requests or refuse to provide details about the trip. The parents might think they're doing the couple a favour, but all they're doing is creating hurt feelings and turning the honeymoon into a journey that neither person is excited about.
If the groom's family — or the bride's or grandparents or whoever — is paying for the honeymoon, the couple must sit down with them and discuss expectations and preferences. Just because someone else is paying doesn't mean the couple gets no say at all. If the couple wants to go somewhere that the groom's family can't afford, this is also an excellent time to discuss compromises and even start a honeymoon fund to help make up the difference.
Again, if there are two grooms or no grooms, this could lead to disagreements over which family should pay for the honeymoon. Weddings are about bringing people together through love, so starting an argument over what should be a happy occasion can put a damper on the whole event.
The couple pays for the honeymoon.
Paying for your honeymoon may seem like the least attractive option here. Like almost anyone, a free trip is always preferable to one you have to pay for yourself, but you do get some pretty big perks if you are going this route.
You get to decide every aspect of your trip from where you go to how long you stay. You pick the destination, the hotels, which excursions you want to plan and even what time you need to be up in the morning to catch a plane. Nothing will be prepared without your consent, and having that freedom can be a significant benefit.
You and your partner plan it — together. Whether you've been living together or will start to once you're married, planning a trip can be a great bonding exercise for the two of you. As soon as you decide on a location, you can have some fun picking out which hotel you'd like to stay at and which activities you want to do. You can even look at restaurants that you must try. Doing all of this together gets you both excited about your honeymoon, and it will feel like a team effort, rather than a burden on one of you.
You won't be dependant on someone's approval or opinion. Some parents can overshare when it comes to their child's decision, and some will tell you right away if they don't like a honeymoon idea. That can be frustrating for the couple. When you plan and pay for your honeymoon, you don't need to involve others in the process. Just hand over your credit card number and go.
As you budget for your wedding, things can get complicated, mainly if multiple parties (parents, grandparents, the bride and groom) help foot the bill. One question in particular: who pays for the honeymoon? It's easy to get lost in planning the where and when, but first things first. It would be best if you found out who's writing the check. Our experts have a few different options for who will be handing over their credit card for your honeymoon expenses.
Who Pays for the Honeymoon?
One set of parents, or both, may offer to step to give the couple their honeymoon. That might come from a check that the couple can use to plan their trip or a trip that the parents arranged. And, in some cases, the honeymoon might be a complete surprise where the couple has no idea where they're headed until they open an envelope and find tickets inside (let's hope they've packed correctly!).
Old etiquette states that the groom and his parents fund the honeymoon. That’s because, traditionally, the bride’s family paid for the wedding ceremony and reception. Things have changed, but it’s still possible that your parents are traditionalists (or, frankly, just extremely generous).
In that case, one or both sets of parents might offer to contribute to or gift you a honeymoon largely. Again, we know this generosity seems out of the question for many couples, but it does happen. Sometimes families will even get together to plan out parts of the honeymoon and surprise the couple before planning.
Couples can also pay for the honeymoon themselves. Or, perhaps one of you will cover the expenses for the entire honeymoon while the other is responsible for another aspect of the wedding. It's up to each couple and their financial situation to find a solution that works for them. There are no wrong options!
If you have limited funds, find ways to save on your honeymoon and get the most bang for your buck. Whether it's a quiet trip up the coast or a campground adventure, you'll be together and married—and that will make it magical.
As we said, newlywed couples often will pay for their honeymoon themselves. This is especially the case if one or both sets of parents foot the bill for the wedding. Luckily, because this situation is solely between the couple, it can be approached in any way.
An engaged couple may start joint savings accounts while wedding planning to save up for the occasion together. On the other hand, one partner may cover honeymoon expenses while the other pays for another wedding aspect. Regardless of rhyme or reason, if you’re in this boat, find a situation that works for the two of you and your financial situation.
Here are some simple ways you can start saving for your honeymoon now:
- Open a dedicated savings account.
- Put cash and checks you receive as wedding gifts towards your trip.
- Open a travel or airline credit card to start accruing points and rewards (many offer generous sign-on bonuses when you spend a certain amount).
- Do your research—know how to book on a budget.
If you’re funding your honeymoon, find your budget and make a plan ASAP. The more time you have to save, the less stress will surround your celebration.
Everyone Contributes Via a Honeymoon Registry
Instead of (or in addition to) your wedding registry, you can create a cash fund. This is an online way to receive cash gifts from friends and family invited to your wedding. These funds can then be seamlessly transferred to your bank to be used towards your honeymoon. This is especially ideal for couples who are already living together or don’t necessarily need household items.
If a couple has arranged a honeymoon registry instead of, or in addition to, a traditional wedding registry, the answer to who pays for the honeymoon is the guests! A honeymoon registry allows guests to pay for activities, meals, or excursions the couple can enjoy during the honeymoon, or help fund flights or hotel stays. It's an ideal option for a couple who don't necessarily need housewares or other traditional wedding gifts. There are honeymoon registry websites that make it super simple and easy to set up the fund, including Honeyfund, Zola, Traveler's Joy, etc. Looking for Melbourne hens ideas to make sure you and your friends can enjoy hens party? Magic Men has you covered.
Asking for money outright might not be appealing to you. Still, you can create several individual cash funds that allow your loved ones to feel like they’re contributing to something specific and particular. In other words, rather than making a general Honeymoon Fund (which you totally can do), you can break it up into smaller moments. Think airline tickets, expeditions, and dinners. Anything you may need money for where your trip is concerned.
Use the Cash and Checks You Receive as Wedding Gifts
Another option is to pool all the money you received as wedding gifts (which can add up!) and use that to fund your honeymoon. As more and more couples opt to take their honeymoon a few months or even a year after the wedding, using monetary gifts from guests to cover honeymoon costs is a great way to know exactly how much money the couple has to work with, as well as to ease the strain on their savings account after the wedding has come and gone. Plus, that way, you can wait until after the wedding (and wedding planning) to start honeymoon planning!
When it comes to who pays for the honeymoon, there really can be no wrong answer. You grandparents, great grandparents, extended family members, or even close friends might surprise you with the trip of a lifetime. It's an incredibly generous gift that you'll be forever grateful for. Ideally, they'll gift it to you early on in the wedding and honeymoon planning process, so you'll know what you're working with! Perhaps the honeymoon budget you started can then be allocated elsewhere!