When it comes to engagement rings, understanding the etiquette is essential. This ring represents one of the most significant pieces of jewellery you will ever own, symbolising love, commitment, and the beginning of a new chapter in a couple’s life. However, navigating through the traditions and customs can take time and effort. In this guide, we will walk you through everything you need to know about engagement ring etiquette, from the history of the rings to selecting the right one and even dealing with potential problems.
Summary
Engagement rings symbolise love and commitment, with traditions dating back to ancient Egypt. The modern diamond engagement ring gained popularity in the 20th century. When proposing, there’s no strict timeline or method—what matters is making it personal. While traditionally, men chose and paid for the ring, today, many couples share these decisions. The focus should be choosing a ring that suits your partner’s style and budget, not adhering to outdated spending rules.
Wearing the ring typically follows cultural customs, with most wearing it on the left hand, sometimes moving it during the wedding ceremony. Issues like broken engagements, disliking the ring, or using heirlooms require sensitivity and communication. The growing trend of men’s engagement rings reflects evolving practices.
Ultimately, the best engagement ring resonates with your unique relationship, respecting traditions while reflecting personal preferences.
The Tradition Of Engagement Rings
History and Origins: Engagement rings have a rich history dating back to ancient Egypt, where lovers would tie reeds or other plants around the left hand’s ring finger, believing a vein in that finger led directly to the heart. This tradition evolved, with ancient Romans adopting gold bands as symbols of commitment.
The modern tradition of diamond engagement rings began in 1477 when Archduke Maximilian of Austria presented Mary of Burgundy with a diamond ring. However, it was in 1947 that De Beers popularised the diamond engagement ring with their famous slogan, “A Diamond is Forever,” cementing the diamond’s place in engagement ring culture.
Choosing The Right Time To Propose
When to Ask: There’s no rule for the perfect time or place to propose. While some may wait six months to a year to plan the perfect surprise, others might decide to get engaged spontaneously. Whether you plan a grand gesture or something simple and intimate, the key is to make it meaningful and personal to your relationship.
Who Chooses the Ring?: Traditionally, the man would select the ring, but today, many couples opt to choose the ring together. If your partner has specific preferences, it might be wise to listen closely to their hints or involve them in the selection process. Alternatively, you can propose first and then shop for the ring together, ensuring you both make a decision you’re happy with.
Budgeting For The Engagement Ring
Who Pays and How Much?: The old rule of spending two to three months’ salary on an engagement ring must be updated. Instead, focus on what you can comfortably afford without straining your finances. Choosing a ring that symbolises your love is more important than adhering to outdated spending rules. Many couples today share the cost of the ring, while others stick to tradition, where the groom pays for it entirely.
Selecting The Perfect Engagement Ring
Ring Styles and Stone Choices: Consider what style suits your partner best when choosing an engagement ring. While diamonds are traditional, other gemstones like sapphires, emeralds, or pearls are becoming popular alternatives. The most important thing is that the ring reflects your partner’s personality and that they feel comfortable wearing it.
Reusing a Ring: Reusing a family heirloom or an engagement ring from a previous relationship is a personal decision. Some may cherish the history and sentimentality of a reused ring, while others might prefer a new ring without any past associations. If you reuse a ring, consider resetting the stone or customising it to give it a fresh start.
The Etiquette Of Wearing The Ring
Where To Wear It
Engagement rings are traditionally worn on the left hand’s ring finger. This custom is rooted in the ancient belief that a vein, often called the “Vein of Love,” runs directly from this finger to the heart, symbolising the direct connection of love and commitment between partners.
However, this tradition is not universal. Cultural customs and personal preferences significantly affect where the engagement ring is worn. In some European countries, for example, it is more common to wear the engagement ring on the right hand. Similarly, some individuals might wear their engagement ring on a different finger for comfort, lifestyle, or symbolic reasons.
After the Wedding, it is common practice to wear the wedding band on the same finger, with the engagement ring above it. This placement signifies that the wedding band, representing the marriage vow, is physically and symbolically closer to the heart. However, the order in which the rings are worn can vary based on individual preferences or cultural traditions. Some brides might have the wedding band soldered to the engagement ring, creating a piece of jewellery that simplifies wearing and ensures the rings stay together.
During The Wedding Ceremony
The Wedding Ceremony often raises questions about what to do with the engagement ring, especially during the exchange of wedding bands. This moment, filled with symbolism, can lead to different approaches depending on personal preference and tradition.
One common option is to move the engagement ring to the right hand before the ceremony. This allows the wedding band to be placed directly onto the left ring finger during the ceremony, signifying the immediate and unbroken commitment. After the ceremony, the engagement ring can be returned to its original position above the wedding band.
Some brides leave the engagement ring on the left hand throughout the ceremony. After the vows are exchanged and the wedding band is placed on the finger, the engagement ring is either moved to rest above the wedding band or remains in its original position, depending on the bride’s preference.
In some cases, couples may opt for a different approach. For instance, they might choose to have both rings welded together before the wedding, ensuring that they always sit together perfectly on the finger. This eliminates any concern about the order of the rings and simplifies the process during the ceremony.
Deciding how to handle the engagement ring during the wedding ceremony is a personal choice. It should reflect what feels right for the couple and what aligns with their vision for their special day. Whether you follow tradition or create a new custom that suits your relationship, the most important thing is that the moment is meaningful and memorable for you both.
Dealing With Common Issues
Broken Engagements: The etiquette surrounding the ring’s return can vary in the unfortunate event of a broken engagement. In some places, the ring must be returned if the engagement is called off, especially if it is considered a conditional gift. However, if the ring is an heirloom, it’s generally expected to be returned to the giver’s family.
Disliking the Ring: If you are unhappy with your partner’s chosen ring, it’s important to approach the situation carefully. Start by expressing appreciation for their effort, but be honest about your feelings. Select a new ring together or alter the current one to suit your taste better. Remember, the ring symbolises your relationship and should be something you’re proud to wear.
Men’s Engagement Rings
The Rising Trend: While men traditionally have worn only wedding bands, there is a growing trend of men wearing engagement rings. These rings may not be as ornate as women’s, but they offer a range of styles to suit individual tastes. If you and your partner choose to wear engagement rings, be prepared for questions or assumptions and decide how to handle them together.
Family Heirlooms And Engagement Rings
The Sentiment of Heirlooms: Giving or receiving a family heirloom as an engagement ring adds deep sentimental value. However, ensuring that all family members agree with the heirloom’s new home is important. Additionally, discussing what will happen to the ring if the engagement doesn’t lead to marriage is a wise move to avoid potential conflicts later.
Conclusion
Engagement rings are more than just beautiful jewellery; they symbolise love, commitment, and the promise of a future together. Understanding the etiquette surrounding these rings helps ensure that this significant milestone in your relationship is celebrated with respect and care. Whether you’re choosing a ring, planning a proposal, or navigating through the challenges that may arise, keeping these guidelines in mind will help make this special time in your life even more meaningful.
Remember, the best engagement ring represents your unique relationship and the love you share. Whether it’s a diamond, a coloured gemstone, a family heirloom, or something entirely different, what matters most is the sentiment behind it and the future it symbolises.
By adhering to these guidelines, you’ll choose the perfect ring and honour the traditions and emotions that come with it, ensuring a memorable and heartfelt engagement for you and your partner.
FAQs About Engagement Ring
What Is Traditionally an Engagement Ring?
Traditional style engagement rings are those ring designs that everyone knows and loves. The Solitaire is a simple, one-stone ring, while the Halo style is a centre stone surrounded by accent diamonds. Although the rings may differ slightly in the details, the base shape and style remain the same.
Do You Wear Your Engagement Ring on Top or Bottom?
According to tradition, the wedding band should go on first, with the engagement ring stacked. Even etiquette experts agree that the way to wear a wedding set is by placing the wedding band on the bottom. However, while there may be a “proper” way to wear your rings, the choice is ultimately up to you!
Does the Ring on the Right Hand Mean Engaged?
Just before the wedding ceremony, the engagement ring is exchanged onto the right hand so the wedding ring can be placed onto the left hand to be worn closest to the heart. After the ceremony, the engagement ring is placed on top of the new wedding band.
Do You Wear Your Engagement Ring After You Get Married?
Traditionally, you wear your engagement ring and wedding ring together on the fourth finger of your left hand. As far as how to stack them, tradition holds that you’ll wear the wedding band inside the engagement ring, so it’s closer to your heart.
How Long Do Guys Wait to Propose After Buying a Ring?
We recommend that you purchase the engagement ring at least three months before you plan to propose. This gives you enough time to change things and plan everything so it runs smoothly.
