Engagement Ring Etiquette

Why do most marriages fail?

First there's love, then there's marriage, and then there's the sobering realisation that, jeez, this 'til death do us part thing is a lot of effort. After being married for a while, most couples can identify the main causes of divorce. When it comes to marriage, the fact is that over 20% of couples end up divorcing in the first five years. Counselors, divorce attorneys, and therapists, who see the aftermath of many failed marriages firsthand, report common themes. Though there is no shortage of causes for a divorce, most of them may be grouped into a few broad categories. Here are the seven most common causes of divorce in the first five years of a marriage's existence.

Being divorced is something no one plans for. Things like these seem like they'd happen to other people, but never to us.

How is it that so many marriages end in divorce despite the fact that love is the greatest emotion in the world and so much time and energy is spent seeking for, constructing, and nurturing the perfect connection with our soulmate?

Everything you need to know about divorce is covered in this article, from the common causes of divorce and the reasons it may seem inevitable to the warning signals that indicate whether or not your marriage is beyond saving.

The claim that half of all marriages end in divorce has been heavily contested in recent years, yet it persists nonetheless. The decision of whether or if to get married is typically delayed among the younger generations. Though the divorce rate differs by demographic group, it's still possible for any married pair to wind up divorcing one another. Experts were asked about the most underappreciated causes of divorce, and money and communication issues came up again.

Saying “I do” at Vogue Ballroom is an elegant and luxurious affair.

Lack of intimacy and sex

In my profession, this issue has been the number one reason of divorce, or couples filing for divorce. If there were a drug that could increase a woman's libido, I believe that most of us would take it. Relationship problems often arise as a result of men's typically stronger libido. (In rare cases, a woman may demonstrate a stronger desire than her male companion. The advice and answers offered, however, would remain the same.

More often than not, it is the female partner who initiates counselling. She'll start to think there's something wrong with her since she's not a "good wife" or a "nice sexual partner" for her husband. Her hormones will have been tested to make sure there is nothing wrong with them. Nothing is out of whack most of the time.

Soon enough in therapy, we'll know that the issue isn't her hormones but rather the relationship. To resolve the issue, the couple should attend counselling sessions jointly. Then, we go through a programme made for partners who have a "desire disparity," or one whose libido is significantly greater than their partner's.

An affair whether emotional or physical

The impact on a relationship is the same whether the affair is emotional or physical.

Despite popular belief, the emotional anguish experienced by either partner after an affair is equivalent. When one partner betrays the other, it destroys the emotional, physical, and spiritual links that hold the partnership together.

Many marriages end in divorce because the betrayal shatters the foundation of trust, respect, loyalty, and communication between the partners. Quite frequently, the cheating spouse quits the marriage because they are certain they would be happier and more fulfilled by leaving their spouse for the other person.

However, it is a highly powerful and life-altering process when a couple who has suffered betrayal wants to attempt to overcome it and are committed to working on their relationship. It's crucial for both parties to understand that the betrayal was only a symptom of the larger problems in their relationship.

It's not simple to put your relationship back together after an affair, but when you do, you may find that it's better than ever. Which is why I'm of the opinion that having an affair doesn't have to spell the end of a relationship.

Lack of clear boundaries in the relationship

Another source of friction in relationships is differing viewpoints on how to set limits and what should be expected of each other. We all understand the concept of limits, but few of us actually take the time to articulate them. Additionally, each partner in a relationship has their own unique set of boundaries and expectations. Personal history, cultural milieu, religious upbringing, and societal models all have a role in shaping one's sense of what's acceptable and what's not.

Having friends of the other sex might not be a problem for one individual. Someone else may find it totally unacceptable.

We get upset and resentful when our boundaries in relationships are violated because we don't always make them clear to our partners.

Make it clear that you don't want your partner to have Facebook conversations with random people. If you and your partner haven't talked about the problem and given each other an opportunity to reply, you shouldn't be surprised if texts start flying back and forth.

Establish early on whether or not you intend to share a bank account with your significant other.

Talk to your future spouse about your shared religious values and goals for raising your children before you start a family.

Expectations and limits aren't easy to articulate at the outset of a relationship, and instead tend to emerge naturally as time goes on. Our weak spot is responding appropriately to the "offence" that occurs when our personal boundaries are breached.

It's best to calm down first, before confronting your spouse with the problem, so that you can communicate effectively. Talk about it without being defensive, and attempt to provide some background so they can answer correctly.

To tell them to "stop calling everyone darling" is not productive. I would argue "When you use "darling" as a pet term for me, I feel like you're blurring gender lines. It weakens the unique connection we share, leaving me feeling envious and cheated."

Your spouse may not realise that their actions or words are upsetting you until after the fact. If you explain exactly how it will effect them, they will be more receptive to your arguments.

If you and your partner have trouble communicating with one another, it may be a sign that the relationship is on the verge of collapse.

Check out our extensive list of Melbourne’s Best Wedding Celebrants.

Growing apart – no joint interests

As the saying goes, "first impressions last," and this is especially true in long-term partnerships. Long-term partners may wonder, "What do we have in common anymore?" as they take a look down the road.

Over time, people evolve. It makes sense. Children, careers, and new interests all have the potential to broaden our perspectives and enrich our personalities. Long-term relationships thrive when the partners mature and change together while still making an active effort to be emotionally close to one another. When I see a couple, I try to urge them to do something new together, like taking up a hobby or working on a project, so that they may spend quality time together and develop as individuals and partners.

The rise of emotional and physical relationships between partners with vastly different levels of activity has been one of the most pressing problems I've encountered in my professional life. It takes a lot of time and effort to train for a long distance race like the Ironman or the Argus, or even a shorter race like the Comrades. While this is certainly an admirable feat, it's important for partners to consider the potential effects on their relationship and take precautions.

A man, for instance, may be getting ready to compete in the Ironman. This keeps him away from home for a significant portion of each weekday and weekend. His wife may feel angry that he is able to follow his "dream" while she is responsible for raising their children, keeping the household running smoothly, and dealing with work-related stress. She'll be irritated and upset when he gets home from working out, while he'll be feeling great. He could complain about his wife's short temper while running with his workout pals. There's a chance that one of the women in your training group may bring up the fact that she's experiencing similar difficulties with her own husband. They may begin to feel more connected as a result. An emotional or physical affair might result from a combination of factors, including the "high" from exercise and the growing distance between the married couple.

Couples need to be on the same page for this very reason. Everyone has to be able to get satisfaction from a mix of social relationships, personal pursuits, spirituality, and vocation. Your relationship can provide you joy, but it's important that you don't put all your hope in them.

All couples experience lulls in mutual contribution. This may be the result of intense professional pressure, a health problem, or the pursuit of a specific objective. Couples need to be able to compromise at this period (I'll enter one Ironman competition, and that's it), and each partner needs to be able to pursue their own happiness outside of the relationship while still providing unconditional love and support.

If you put all your hopes and dreams on your spouse, you may end up disappointed if they are unable to provide for you. This is not the way to build a strong and enduring bond with another person.

Getting in for the wrong reasons

We've all heard that getting married just for financial reasons sets you up for an easy exit from your union.

Numerous divorced women I've met have told me that the issues that led to their separation were present from the start, but that they didn't want to leave because "everyone expected us to live happily ever after" or "we had already spent so much money on the wedding" or "we had just built our dream home." And until you say those two magical words, "I do!" you should always feel free to change your mind.

Lack of individual identity

The two people in a codependent relationship are unhealthy for each other. You become "couple stupid" when you can't pursue your hobbies or express yourself outside of your relationship.

You're probably in deep, and you probably feel like you're drowning without knowing why, if you're unable to accomplish anything without your spouse or if you have no idea what kinds of music, movies, or foods you used to enjoy.

Becoming lost in the roles

Just as many married couples "forget" their single friends and habits, most parents rapidly ignore or entirely forget that they are a pair once children enter the picture.

Many married couples drift away as their children reach an age where they no longer require constant supervision. They may lose touch with one another and wonder why they ever got married.

When it comes to your special day, Vogue Ballroom has proven itself to be an iconic wedding venue and function centre in Melbourne

Not having a shared vision of success

Getting married was the catalyst for a complete life overhaul, she said. Your saving habits and his spending habits are driving you nuts. Your ideal weekend retreat is a cabin in the woods, but your significant other would rather go out and catch a game. He considers it your responsibility to take care of the housework, but you strongly disagree.

It's strange that he didn't bring this up earlier. It's possible you might have gotten more information if you'd just asked. He probably hasn't altered much, but your outlook on him may have. Is it really feasible for fundamental philosophical disagreements to be tolerated? Although many people don't believe it's conceivable, it is.

The intimacy disappears

There is a gradual shift in a marriage's level of closeness at some point. Maybe someone is having a bad day, there was a miscommunication, or someone wasn't feeling well. Next, there's the assumption that he or she lacks her partner's amorous or sexual qualities.

One person's seemingly innocuous shift in behaviour can have a devastating effect on a couple's ability to be close to one another. Men typically require sexual receptivity to feel romantic, whereas women generally need romance to be sexually responsive. When one party is satisfied, the other is more likely to give in to their wishes. However, when one is diminished, it might lead to a retreat on the other's behalf. If left uncontrolled, the marriage may become profoundly intimately alienated before they even realise what has occurred. As a result, couples may feel neglected and undervalued, which can lead to marital discord and eventually divorce.

Check out our post on 20 Most Popular Honeymoon Ideas in 2018 from Australia

Unmet expectations

When a person is dissatisfied, instinct tells them to demand that their significant other make the necessary adjustments so that they may be content once more. This is often done by airing grievances, assigning blame, offering criticism, nagging, threatening, punishing, or offering incentives.

A marriage is doomed when either spouse tries to force the other to do things they don't want to do in order to make the other happy. It's acceptable to express dissatisfaction with a partner and request the change you desire. If your spouse doesn't make you happy, though, it's on you to make yourself content.

Finances

Generally speaking, a couple will split up not because one partner is poor but because they are financially incompatible.

It's true that opposites attract, but when it comes to money, many marriages end in divorce. Imagine the tension between a saver and a spender. One is concerned with the long term, while the other prioritises the now. One has no trouble making large purchases on credit, while the other advocates waiting until one has the cash on hand to make those purchases.

This tension might build up over time to the point where divorce feels inevitable.

Being out of touch... literally

By "contact," I mean actual, bodily interaction. Even while sex is wonderful, it should be complemented by other forms of physical contact, such as kisses, embraces, and holding hands. Couples who don't regularly engage in sexual and non-sexual intimacy risk becoming emotionally distant from one another.

Different priorities and interests

An important component of a happy marriage is pursuing common hobbies together. Having time to yourself is essential, but if you and your partner don't share interests and actively seek out opportunities to do things you like together, you're far more likely to drift away.

Inability to resolve conflicts

Disagreements are normal for any marriage. The most important thing is to set certain guidelines so that both parties may feel safe and heard. Sometimes, though, we need an impartial "referee" to lay down the ground rules and show us how to process our strong emotions in a healthy way, so that we can avoid harbouring any lingering resentments.

It's a mixed bag: some individuals have never taken the time to figure out what they want or need, while others blindly follow the advice of those closest to them. Some people only date inside their social group or with those who appear nice on paper. To blend in or make a statement, that is the question. To get through this, I suggest you focus on developing an intimate relationship with yourself. Discover your personal preferences by keeping track of how you react to different situations and how quickly you recover from setbacks. Don't bottle up your emotions; instead, discuss them with someone you trust, be it a spouse, friends, or a therapist. Last but not least, acknowledge that you will develop and grow. It's quite normal for your tastes to change as you get older; your interests at 25 won't necessarily be the same as they are at 30.

Conclusion

Over 20% of marriages end in divorce within the first five years. Relationship problems often arise as a result of men's typically stronger libido. If there were a drug that could increase a woman's libido, I believe most of us would take it. When one partner betrays the other, it destroys the emotional, physical, and spiritual links that hold the partnership together. Many marriages end in divorce because the betrayal shatters the foundation of trust, respect, loyalty, and communication between the partners.

It's crucial for both parties to understand that the betrayal was only a symptom of the larger problems in their relationship. Having friends of the other sex might not be a problem for one individual. Someone else may find it totally unacceptable. If you and your partner haven't talked about the problem, you shouldn't be surprised if texts start flying back and forth. It could be a sign that the relationship is on the verge of collapse.

Couples need to be on the same page for this very reason. Long-term relationships thrive when the partners mature and change together. An affair might result from a combination of factors, including the "high" from exercise and the growing distance between the married couple. If you put all your hopes and dreams on your spouse, you may end up disappointed if they are unable to provide for you. You become "couple stupid" when you can't pursue your hobbies or express yourself outside of your relationship.

Many married couples drift away as their children enter the picture and forget why they got married. A marriage is doomed when either spouse tries to force the other to do things they don't want to do in order to make the other happy. Sex is wonderful, but it should be complemented by other forms of physical contact. Couples who don't regularly engage in sexual and non-sexual intimacy risk becoming emotionally distant from one another. Disagreements are normal for any marriage; the most important thing is to set certain guidelines.

Content Summary

  1. After being married for a while, most couples can identify the main causes of divorce.
  2. When it comes to marriage, the fact is that over 20% of couples end up divorcing in the first five years.
  3. Though there is no shortage of causes for a divorce, most of them may be grouped into a few broad categories.
  4. Here are the seven most common causes of divorce in the first five years of a marriage's existence.
  5. Being divorced is something no one plans for.
  6. How is it that so many marriages end in divorce despite the fact that love is the greatest emotion in the world and so much time and energy is spent seeking for, constructing, and nurturing the perfect connection with our soulmate?Everything you need to know about divorce is covered in this article, from the common causes of divorce and the reasons it may seem inevitable to the warning signals that indicate whether or not your marriage is beyond saving.
  7. The claim that half of all marriages end in divorce has been heavily contested in recent years, yet it persists nonetheless.
  8. More often than not, it is the female partner who initiates counselling.
  9. Soon enough in therapy, we'll know that the issue isn't her hormones but rather the relationship.
  10. To resolve the issue, the couple should attend counselling sessions jointly.
  11. An affair whether emotional or physicalThe impact on a relationship is the same whether the affair is emotional or physical.
  12. Despite popular belief, the emotional anguish experienced by either partner after an affair is equivalent.
  13. When one partner betrays the other, it destroys the emotional, physical, and spiritual links that hold the partnership together.
  14. It's crucial for both parties to understand that the betrayal was only a symptom of the larger problems in their relationship.
  15. It's not simple to put your relationship back together after an affair, but when you do, you may find that it's better than ever.
  16. Which is why I'm of the opinion that having an affair doesn't have to spell the end of a relationship.
  17. Lack of clear boundaries in the relationshipAnother source of friction in relationships is differing viewpoints on how to set limits and what should be expected of each other.
  18. Additionally, each partner in a relationship has their own unique set of boundaries and expectations.
  19. Having friends of the other sex might not be a problem for one individual.
  20. We get upset and resentful when our boundaries in relationships are violated because we don't always make them clear to our partners.
  21. Make it clear that you don't want your partner to have Facebook conversations with random people.
  22. If you and your partner haven't talked about the problem and given each other an opportunity to reply, you shouldn't be surprised if texts start flying back and forth.
  23. Establish early on whether or not you intend to share a bank account with your significant other.
  24. Talk to your future spouse about your shared religious values and goals for raising your children before you start a family.
  25. Expectations and limits aren't easy to articulate at the outset of a relationship, and instead tend to emerge naturally as time goes on.
  26. Our weak spot is responding appropriately to the "offence" that occurs when our personal boundaries are breached.
  27. It's best to calm down first, before confronting your spouse with the problem, so that you can communicate effectively.
  28. Talk about it without being defensive, and attempt to provide some background so they can answer correctly.
  29. If you and your partner have trouble communicating with one another, it may be a sign that the relationship is on the verge of collapse.
  30. Long-term relationships thrive when the partners mature and change together while still making an active effort to be emotionally close to one another.
  31. The rise of emotional and physical relationships between partners with vastly different levels of activity has been one of the most pressing problems I've encountered in my professional life.
  32. While this is certainly an admirable feat, it's important for partners to consider the potential effects on their relationship and take precautions.
  33. Couples need to be on the same page for this very reason.
  34. Everyone has to be able to get satisfaction from a mix of social relationships, personal pursuits, spirituality, and vocation.
  35. Your relationship can provide you joy, but it's important that you don't put all your hope in them.
  36. All couples experience lulls in mutual contribution.
  37. Couples need to be able to compromise at this period (I'll enter one Ironman competition, and that's it), and each partner needs to be able to pursue their own happiness outside of the relationship while still providing unconditional love and support.
  38. If you put all your hopes and dreams on your spouse, you may end up disappointed if they are unable to provide for you.
  39. This is not the way to build a strong and enduring bond with another person.
  40. Getting in for the wrong reasonsWe've all heard that getting married just for financial reasons sets you up for an easy exit from your union.
  41. you should always feel free to change your mind.
  42. Lack of individual identityThe two people in a codependent relationship are unhealthy for each other.
  43. You become "couple stupid" when you can't pursue your hobbies or express yourself outside of your relationship.
  44. When it comes to your special day, Vogue Ballroom has proven itself to be an iconic wedding venue and function centre in MelbourneNot having a shared vision of success
  45. Getting married was the catalyst for a complete life overhaul, she said.
  46. He considers it your responsibility to take care of the housework, but you strongly disagree.
  47. He probably hasn't altered much, but your outlook on him may have.
  48. The intimacy disappearsThere is a gradual shift in a marriage's level of closeness at some point.
  49. Next, there's the assumption that he or she lacks her partner's amorous or sexual qualities.
  50. One person's seemingly innocuous shift in behaviour can have a devastating effect on a couple's ability to be close to one another.
  51. When one party is satisfied, the other is more likely to give in to their wishes.
  52. As a result, couples may feel neglected and undervalued, which can lead to marital discord and eventually divorce.
  53. A marriage is doomed when either spouse tries to force the other to do things they don't want to do in order to make the other happy.
  54. It's true that opposites attract, but when it comes to money, many marriages end in divorce.
  55. Being out of touch... literallyBy "contact," I mean actual, bodily interaction.
  56. Having time to yourself is essential, but if you and your partner don't share interests and actively seek out opportunities to do things you like together, you're far more likely to drift away.
  57. To get through this, I suggest you focus on developing an intimate relationship with yourself.
  58. Don't bottle up your emotions; instead, discuss them with someone you trust, be it a spouse, friends, or a therapist.

Frequently Asked Questions About Marriages Fails

Almost 50 percent of all marriages in the United States will end in divorce or separation. 7. Researchers estimate that 41 percent of all first marriages end in divorce.

MARRIAGE second time is better than the first, a new study shows. And even co-habiting makes for a happier life than newly-wedded bliss. Couples living together after a failed marriage find their life satisfaction improves for eight years, while those who tie the knot for a second time see a decade of improvement.

While this is obviously critically important, there are many other kinds of dishonesty that can destroy marriages. Honesty regarding things such as spending habits, internet relationships, and substance use or addiction can create cracks in a marriage that quickly become chasms.

One of the most prominent signs of when to call it quits in a marriage is unwillingness to communicate. No matter how hard you try to engage your partner, it doesn't seem to work. You try the nice voice and the sweet thoughts. You try the yelling and the threatening.

While there's no argument that everyone endures the pain of divorce in one way or another, many people may be surprised to hear that, according to research, men have a much more difficult time with a split than women.

Google Rating
4.6
Based on 496 reviews
js_loader
Google Rating
4.6
Based on 496 reviews
js_loader
Scroll to Top