Planning a hens night can be one of the most exciting parts of wedding preparations, but it also comes with its fair share of decisions. One of the most important tasks? Crafting the perfect guest list. Who should be there to celebrate the bride-to-be and make the night unforgettable? It’s more than just a list of names—it’s about gathering a supportive, fun-loving group that reflects the bride’s personality and the vibe she wants for the evening.
From best friends and bridesmaids to family members and acquaintances, choosing the right people for the party sets the tone for the whole celebration. And trust me, I’ve seen it all when it comes to hens night planning. Whether you’re organising a wild night out or a relaxed gathering, the guest list is crucial to getting it right. In this guide, I’ll walk you through everything you need to know about creating the ideal hens night guest list, offering tips, examples, and insights to ensure the bride’s special night is filled with love, laughter, and zero awkward moments.
Deciding on Family Members for the Hens Night
Should You Invite the Bride’s Family?
When it comes to family, there’s no one-size-fits-all approach for a hens night. The bride’s relationship with her family will ultimately determine if they should be included in the guest list. From my experience, this is one of those topics where a little extra care can go a long way.
Some brides have an incredibly close bond with their family, and they’re eager to have them by their side during all the wedding festivities. I remember a bride whose sisters were practically her best friends, and there was no question—her sisters were front and centre at the hens night. They were involved in the planning, set the tone for the evening, and, let me tell you, they sure knew how to make the night sparkle.
On the flip side, I’ve also seen brides who prefer to keep things more intimate, especially if they’re closer with their friends than family. In these cases, inviting aunts or mothers-in-law may not feel right. It’s crucial to have a candid conversation with the bride about how she feels about her family’s involvement. If she’s comfortable with them being part of the celebration, go for it! But, if she’d rather have a night away from family dynamics, it’s absolutely okay to keep things more focused on close friends.
Future In-Laws: To Invite or Not to Invite?
Now, let’s talk about the groom’s family. This is a tricky one—do you invite the groom’s mother, sisters, or aunties, or keep it all on the bride’s side? The answer really depends on the dynamics between the bride and her future in-laws.
In one case I worked on, the bride had a fantastic relationship with her soon-to-be mother-in-law, and they even planned some of the hens night activities together! It was a beautiful bonding experience, and the groom’s mum absolutely brought a special touch to the celebration. On the other hand, I’ve been part of events where the bride didn’t feel as close to her future in-laws and opted to keep the event more intimate, with just her side of the family and her closest friends.
What’s important here is ensuring the bride feels comfortable and happy with the people around her. If the bride has a strong bond with her future in-laws and feels they would enhance the experience, then by all means, invite them along. But if she’s feeling unsure or prefers to keep it more low-key, respect her wishes. You wouldn’t want to invite someone who might not add to the positive atmosphere or who could make the bride feel uncomfortable.
Expanding the Guest List: Who Else Should Be Invited?
Friends of the Bride and Groom
Now that we’ve covered the bride’s inner circle, what about the other people who might deserve a spot on the list? Friends of the bride, colleagues, and even friends of the groom can make their way into the mix if there’s a meaningful connection.
I’ve seen brides who’ve had amazing friendships with their work colleagues, and they’re definitely worth inviting. I recall one bride who invited her closest colleagues to her hens night because they had become like family. The energy they brought to the party was unmatched. If the bride has strong personal connections with them, consider them a must-add to the guest list. However, make sure that these individuals align with the vibe of the party. If they’re more conservative or quieter, they might not be the best fit for a high-energy celebration.
But be mindful of how this could impact the group dynamic. If you’re aiming for a small and intimate affair, adding friends from the groom’s circle might change the vibe of the party, especially if the bride doesn’t know them well. Always take into consideration how the group will blend and whether the people invited will create a positive and enjoyable atmosphere for everyone involved.
The Fine Line: Inviting Distant Relatives and Acquaintances
While it might be tempting to expand the guest list to include every distant cousin or acquaintance, it’s important to maintain a sense of intimacy and comfort. You know the saying—too many cooks in the kitchen, right? The same can be said for hens night guest lists. If someone doesn’t have a strong relationship with the bride or isn’t likely to contribute to the celebration in a meaningful way, it’s okay to leave them off the list.
From my experience, I’ve seen brides struggle when they felt pressured to invite distant relatives or acquaintances because they feared offending someone. But when those people attend, they often don’t fit in with the vibe and can sometimes feel like outsiders. This disrupts the energy and can make the bride feel uncomfortable, especially if she doesn’t have a strong relationship with them.
Instead, focus on people who will enhance the experience and ensure the bride feels supported and celebrated. If you’re torn between inviting a distant cousin or a close friend, always opt for the latter. A close-knit group will provide a much more personal and enjoyable hens night for the bride.
Who Should NOT Be on the Hens Night Guest List?
Avoiding Tension and Drama
While it’s easy to get caught up in the excitement of creating the perfect guest list, there are certain individuals who might not be the best fit for the hens night. Trust me, I’ve seen my fair share of drama-filled parties, and it’s a situation you definitely want to avoid.
The most important rule? Anyone the bride doesn’t want there should not make the cut. This is non-negotiable. I once worked on a hens night where a close friend of the bride was invited reluctantly. While the bride didn’t feel comfortable, she invited her anyway to avoid hurting her feelings. The result? The entire night had a tense undercurrent, and the bride spent much of the evening making sure her friend was okay. It wasn’t what the bride wanted, and it’s a mistake I’ve learned to avoid ever since.
Another category to steer clear of? Exes. I’m sure this is an obvious one, but you’d be surprised at how often it pops up. Inviting the groom’s ex-girlfriend to a hens night could spell disaster, no matter how friendly the relationship may seem. It creates unnecessary tension and can distract from the true purpose of the event, which is to celebrate the bride. I remember one bride whose mother-in-law suggested inviting the groom’s ex because they were still on good terms. We quickly nixed that idea, knowing it would create an awkward atmosphere for everyone involved.
Lastly, avoid inviting people who might bring unresolved conflicts into the mix. This could be anyone who has a history of causing drama or tension—whether that’s a guest who doesn’t get along with others, or someone who’s had past issues with the bride. While it’s lovely to be inclusive, the hens night should be a relaxed, fun experience, free of stress and awkwardness. The key here is to prioritise the bride’s comfort and ensure everyone invited contributes to the positive vibe of the night.
Keeping the Atmosphere Light and Fun
Creating a drama-free atmosphere should always be the goal when curating your guest list. After all, the last thing you want is someone who makes the bride feel uncomfortable or, worse, steals the spotlight. From personal experience, I can tell you that the vibe of the hens night is everything. If the bride isn’t relaxed, the rest of the guests won’t be either.
If you’re unsure about someone, ask yourself whether they will enhance the experience or if their presence might cause stress for the bride. A great example of this is when one bride was debating whether to invite a friend who often had negative comments or tended to be the ‘buzzkill’ of the group. In the end, the bride decided to leave her out of the party, and the night went off without a hitch. Everyone had fun, and the bride was able to enjoy her time without worrying about any potential drama.
It’s all about creating an environment where the bride feels celebrated and can enjoy herself without second-guessing who’s around her. So when deciding on the guest list, focus on the people who will support, lift, and add joy to the occasion. If anyone doesn’t fit this description, it’s best to respectfully leave them off the list.
Aligning the Hens Night Invitation List with the Wedding Guest List
Traditional vs. Modern Hens Night Invite Guidelines
Now, you may be wondering—should the guest list for the hens night reflect the wedding guest list? Traditionally, it’s suggested that only those invited to the wedding should be invited to the hens night. The rationale here is that both events are closely tied to the bride’s inner circle, and it ensures a smooth and consistent experience for everyone involved.
However, in recent years, the line between these two events has blurred. I’ve seen more and more brides inviting people to their hens night who won’t be making it to the wedding. This can happen when distant relatives or old friends are travelling from afar or when the bride simply wants a smaller, more intimate celebration before the big day.
For example, one bride invited a close cousin who was unable to attend the wedding due to location constraints. It was a lovely way to include her, and the cousin felt honoured to be part of the hens night. While it wasn’t the most traditional choice, it worked because the bride had a strong relationship with her cousin and wanted her to be part of the celebration in some way.
That being said, there can be awkward moments if non-wedding guests are invited to the hens night but not to the wedding. Some guests might feel slighted, so it’s important to navigate this decision carefully. It’s best to have a clear understanding of the bride’s wishes and make sure that all invitees know the reasoning behind the decision.
Managing the Size of the Hens Night Group
Small vs. Large Groups: What’s Best for the Bride?
The size of the guest list can often be one of the trickiest parts of planning the hens night. I’ve been part of both small, intimate celebrations and larger, more boisterous affairs, and the truth is, each has its own unique benefits.
A smaller group, say around 5 to 10 people, allows for more meaningful interactions and bonding. I once helped a bride who only invited her closest friends and family, and the intimacy of the night allowed everyone to truly connect. They had a lovely dinner, shared stories, and even organised a few fun games. It was a relaxed and personal evening that everyone—especially the bride—cherished.
On the other hand, a larger group, like 20 or more, can turn the event into a high-energy celebration. Larger groups are fantastic for parties that involve dancing, clubbing, or games that require a big crowd. One of my clients, for instance, had a hens night with over 30 people, and the energy was electric. Everyone was involved, and the bride felt like she was surrounded by all the people who mattered to her.
When deciding on the group size, always consider the bride’s personality and preferences. If she enjoys more intimate settings, a smaller group will be ideal. But if she loves a party atmosphere, don’t be afraid to invite a larger group. The key is to maintain a balance between making the bride feel comfortable and giving her the chance to celebrate with everyone she loves.
Budget Considerations When Deciding on Group Size
Of course, the size of the guest list is also impacted by the budget. Larger groups often mean higher costs, especially if you’re planning an event with fancy cocktails, a big venue, or a group activity like hiring a bus or booking a private area.
When I was helping plan a hens night for a group of 15, the budget had to stretch to cover drinks, dinner, and an activity. If you’re working with a tight budget, it might be worth trimming the guest list to focus on the most important people—the bride’s closest friends and family. This ensures that you can splurge on experiences that will make the night unforgettable, like hiring a private chef or booking a fun group activity.
Backup Guest List: The Importance of Having a Plan B
Let’s face it, plans change, and sometimes life throws curveballs. Having a backup list for your hens night invites is an absolute must. Things come up, schedules change, and people may unexpectedly cancel.
One time, a bride-to-be had a close friend cancel a few days before the event because of a work conflict. Fortunately, we had a backup guest list prepared, so we were able to fill the spot without much hassle. The beauty of a backup list is that it gives you peace of mind and ensures that the party vibe isn’t affected.
Be sure to make note of any possible last-minute additions when finalising the guest list, and if someone cancels, don’t hesitate to reach out to someone on your backup list. This way, you can ensure that everyone who attends is there to contribute to the celebration, and the party won’t miss a beat.
About the Editors – Suzie & Eugene
Suzie & Eugene got married at Vogue Ballroom in 2017 and had the best day of their lives! Ever since they have worked closely with Vogue Ballroom & Vines of the Yarra Valley. For queries please contact via [email protected]
