When it comes to planning a wedding, the rehearsal dinner is often an afterthought—but it shouldn’t be. As someone who tied the knot at Vogue Ballroom, I can tell you that the rehearsal dinner is a chance to step back, relax, and soak in the excitement before the big day. It’s where families mingle, friends share stories, and the bridal party gets a sneak peek at what’s to come.
Whether you’re in Melbourne or hosting a destination wedding, this guide will help you craft a memorable rehearsal dinner that sets the perfect tone for your celebration.
Why Every Couple Should Consider Hosting a Rehearsal Dinner
When I got married at Vogue Ballroom, my partner and I were so absorbed in the wedding planning whirlwind that we nearly skipped the rehearsal dinner. Looking back, I realise how crucial it was to pause, reflect, and connect with our closest family and friends before the big day.
The rehearsal dinner isn’t just a run-through for the ceremony; it’s a chance to celebrate with those who matter most, set the tone for the wedding weekend, and create lasting memories.
The Role of the Rehearsal Dinner in Wedding Celebrations
A rehearsal dinner is a pre-wedding tradition that serves as a celebration and a warm-up for the main event. It provides a relaxed environment to enjoy good food and laughter with your wedding party and family. This event marks the first opportunity for both families to mingle and bond before the whirlwind of the wedding day. From personal experience, I can tell you that it’s an evening where the pressure is off, and the focus is entirely on connection and celebration.
For many couples, the rehearsal dinner is the first time everyone comes together in one place to share in the excitement of the upcoming wedding. It’s more than a rehearsal; it’s a prelude to the big day that lets you breathe, have fun, and enjoy each other’s company in a way that’s hard to replicate during the ceremony itself.
Key Benefits of a Rehearsal Dinner for Couples and Guests
The rehearsal dinner offers several key benefits, from providing bonding time to giving couples a chance to show appreciation to their wedding party. Here are some reasons to host one:
- Bonding Time: It’s a chance for both families to get to know each other better. If there’s a mix of families or if you’re having a destination wedding, this event provides an informal setting for everyone to connect before the wedding.
- A Thank You to Your Wedding Party: The rehearsal dinner is a perfect opportunity to express gratitude to your bridal party, who’ve supported you through the wedding planning process. Whether through speeches or small gifts, it’s a meaningful way to show your appreciation.
- Sets the Tone for the Wedding Weekend: Hosting a relaxed dinner helps set the mood for the wedding. Whether you’re opting for a casual gathering or something more formal, the rehearsal dinner can offer guests a glimpse of what to expect during the wedding.
By making the rehearsal dinner a priority, you’ll be adding a special moment to your wedding celebrations. It’s a pre-wedding highlight that gives everyone a chance to relax, have fun, and enjoy the lead-up to your big day.
Who Should Be Invited to a Rehearsal Dinner?
The guest list for a rehearsal dinner can be a tricky part of the planning process. In my experience, it’s usually a smaller, more intimate event than the wedding itself. However, it’s still essential to invite those who’ve played a key role in your wedding journey. The goal is to make the evening feel personal while ensuring you acknowledge everyone who has supported you along the way.
Traditional vs Modern Guest Lists for Rehearsal Dinners
Traditionally, the rehearsal dinner guest list was reserved for the wedding party, immediate family, and officiant. This typically includes:
- Wedding Party: Bridesmaids, groomsmen, maid/matron of honour, best man, flower girls, ring bearers.
- Immediate Family: Parents, siblings, grandparents, and close relatives.
- Officiant: If they’re attending the rehearsal, they are usually invited.
For our own rehearsal dinner, we kept the guest list small—just our closest family and the wedding party. But modern couples often expand the invite list to include more extended family or even close friends who aren’t part of the wedding party.
I’ve seen this work well, especially when families are spread out across the country or even internationally.
Rehearsal Dinner Guest Etiquette: Who Gets a Plus One?
One of the more challenging decisions is determining who gets a plus-one. Here’s how I generally approach it:
- Wedding Party Members: It’s customary to allow each member of the wedding party to bring a guest. After all, they’re standing by your side on your big day, and it’s a nice gesture to allow them to share the moment with someone special.
- Immediate Family: Parents and siblings usually get a plus-one, particularly if they’re travelling from out of town. This ensures they feel comfortable and supported.
- Close Friends & Extended Family: If you have close friends or family who aren’t part of the wedding party but still play an important role in your life, consider inviting them. Just remember that the more guests you invite, the larger your budget and venue requirements will be.
Special Considerations for Destination Weddings and Out-of-Town Guests
If you’re hosting a destination wedding, the rehearsal dinner can be an ideal time to thank your guests for making the effort to travel. For example, in Melbourne’s Yarra Valley or along the Great Ocean Road, a rehearsal dinner for all wedding guests can create a welcoming atmosphere and allow everyone to feel included.
However, keep in mind that if your venue or budget is more limited, it might be best to host a smaller dinner with just the wedding party and immediate family. In these cases, a welcome party for the entire guest list, separate from the rehearsal dinner, can also be a great way to connect with all your guests.
Rehearsal Dinner Timing and Location: Tips for Seamless Planning
When it comes to the rehearsal dinner, timing and location are key to ensuring everything runs smoothly. In my experience, choosing the right time and place can make a huge difference in setting the right mood for the evening. It’s important to consider both convenience for your guests and the overall vibe you want to create.
When Should the Rehearsal Dinner Take Place?
The rehearsal dinner is traditionally held the night before the wedding, but some couples opt for a different day, particularly if the wedding weekend is spread out. I’ve worked with couples who choose to host the dinner a week before to allow for more relaxation before the big day.
Typically, the ceremony rehearsal takes about 30-45 minutes, followed by the dinner. It’s a good idea to leave some time between the two to avoid feeling rushed. I’ve seen couples schedule the rehearsal for the late afternoon, followed by dinner in the evening, which allows everyone to unwind without the pressure of the big day looming too close.
Best Rehearsal Dinner Locations: Restaurant vs Wedding Venue
Choosing the right venue can make or break your rehearsal dinner. I’ve seen couples successfully host their rehearsal dinners at a range of locations, each setting a different tone for the event. Here are some of the options I recommend:
- Restaurants: Melbourne offers a fantastic variety of private dining spaces at local restaurants like Chin Chin for a lively, modern vibe, or Attica for a fine dining experience. A restaurant is often the perfect choice for a relaxed, intimate dinner without the need for extensive decoration or setup.
- Wedding Venue: If you’re getting married at a venue like Vogue Ballroom, consider hosting the rehearsal dinner in a separate room or area within the venue. This option is convenient and can reduce the stress of managing transportation between locations. Some venues even offer rehearsal dinner packages to streamline the process.
- Outdoor or Casual Settings: If you’re looking for a more relaxed atmosphere, a beachside BBQ or a garden party can be a perfect fit. Melbourne’s diverse climate means there’s something for every couple—whether it’s a sunny outdoor BBQ by the bay or an intimate vineyard dinner in the Yarra Valley.
The key is to choose a venue that fits your wedding style and provides a welcoming atmosphere for your guests.
When to Choose a Separate Venue for the Rehearsal Dinner?
If you’re having a large wedding or want a change of scenery, hosting the rehearsal dinner at a different venue can be a great way to keep things fresh. For instance, if your wedding is at a grand venue, consider hosting a more laid-back dinner at a nearby restaurant or outdoor space. This creates a contrast and gives everyone a chance to unwind in a different environment.
However, if your budget or timeline is tight, having the rehearsal dinner at the same venue can save time and hassle. In my experience, keeping everything in one location often leads to a smoother flow of events, especially for couples with a large guest list or tight schedules.
Crafting the Perfect Rehearsal Dinner Menu
When it comes to the rehearsal dinner menu, there’s no one-size-fits-all. The menu should complement your wedding but not overshadow it. Based on my experience, the key is to match the food to the atmosphere you’re trying to create—casual, formal, or something in between.
The menu is a major factor in setting the tone for the evening, so think carefully about what will make your guests feel comfortable and satisfied.
Rehearsal Dinner Menu Ideas for Every Budget
Your choice of menu will depend on the vibe of the event and, of course, your budget. Here are some options I’ve seen work well for various styles:
- Casual Menu: Think comfort food or street food—something guests can enjoy without too much formality. A barbecue, taco bar, or even an oyster bar could be perfect if you want to keep it informal but still delicious.
- Formal Menu: For a more elegant atmosphere, a plated dinner with gourmet courses or a farm-to-table experience can offer a refined touch. This could include entrée choices like seared scallops or a local lamb dish, paired with seasonal vegetables.
- Family-Style Meal: Serving the meal family-style, where guests share platters at the table, is a great way to encourage mingling. Think roast meats, fresh salads, and artisan breads—it’s a mix of casual and formal that brings people together.
The key is to choose something that complements your wedding but doesn’t steal the spotlight from your big day. I often recommend making your menu unique to the location, using local ingredients, or even incorporating dishes that have a personal meaning to you as a couple.
Budgeting for Your Rehearsal Dinner Menu
When I worked with a couple planning their rehearsal dinner on a tight budget, we found creative ways to save without compromising quality. One of the easiest ways to keep costs down is by choosing a buffet-style meal or food stations, which allow guests to serve themselves and reduce catering costs.
If you want something a little fancier but still affordable, consider opting for family-style servings instead of plated meals, which can be more expensive. Another tip is to focus on seasonal dishes—they’re often more budget-friendly, and they bring a local flavour to your event.
Remember that your menu doesn’t have to be overly complex. Simpler dishes, like a hearty roast with fresh vegetables, can be just as memorable (and more affordable) than a five-course meal. The key is quality, not quantity.
Planning Your Rehearsal Dinner: A Step-by-Step Checklist
When it comes to planning your rehearsal dinner, it’s all about getting the details right. From guest lists to speeches, every aspect should work together seamlessly. In my experience, breaking it down into simple steps makes managing it much easier and ensures nothing gets forgotten. Here’s a checklist I often share with couples planning their rehearsal dinners:
Step 1: Create a Guest List
Start by deciding who will be invited. If you’re sticking to tradition, this will include the wedding party, immediate family, and the officiant. If you’re going for a more modern twist, you may choose to invite extended family or close friends.
When I worked with a couple from Melbourne’s eastern suburbs, they kept it intimate, just the immediate family and bridal party. But for larger destination weddings, inviting everyone can feel more inclusive.
Step 2: Select the Venue
Choose your venue based on the atmosphere you want to create. Whether it’s a restaurant, private dining room, or outdoor garden party, ensure it’s a space that reflects your wedding style and accommodates your guest list. Melbourne has a wide variety of fantastic venues—Chin Chin for a lively dinner, or something more intimate at Attica.
Step 3: Plan the Menu
As we discussed earlier, your menu should match the vibe of the event. Whether you’re opting for a casual buffet, a formal plated dinner, or a family-style meal, it’s important to plan according to your budget and guests’ preferences.
Don’t forget to accommodate dietary restrictions! A couple I worked with recently chose a farm-to-table option, which felt both personal and unique to Melbourne’s local produce.
Step 4: Prepare for Speeches and Toasts
The rehearsal dinner is an excellent time to make speeches or toasts. It’s a more relaxed setting compared to the wedding, so guests might feel more comfortable sharing stories.
Traditionally, the father of the bride and groom give toasts, but nowadays it’s not uncommon for other family members or the wedding party to speak as well. My advice: let these toasts be heartfelt and authentic. It’s about connection, not perfection.
Step 5: Set the Schedule
Make sure to have a timeline for the evening. Typically, you’ll want a ceremony rehearsal, followed by dinner, and then the toasts and speeches. It’s a good idea to leave space for spontaneity, but setting a rough schedule ensures everything runs smoothly.
Rehearsal Dinner Atmosphere: Themes, Decor, and Entertainment
The vibe of your rehearsal dinner is just as important as the food. You want to set a tone that’s relaxed yet celebratory. Here are my top tips for creating a memorable atmosphere that captures the spirit of your wedding while keeping it fresh and exciting.
Themes and Decor: Setting the Scene
The theme of your rehearsal dinner should reflect both your personalities and the overall style of your wedding. Whether you’re going for a rustic, vintage, or modern look, the decor will help establish the event’s mood. For a couple I worked with last year, we went with a boho-chic theme, with mismatched plates, candles, and flowing greenery, which matched their wedding’s relaxed, natural vibe.
When it comes to decorations, I recommend keeping it simple but thoughtful. Use flowers or personal items that will resonate with you and your guests. For example, using your favourite flowers or photos from your relationship can make the dinner feel more intimate.
What to Wear: Rehearsal Dinner Attire
The dress code for a rehearsal dinner can vary depending on the formality of the event. If you’re hosting a casual dinner, a more laid-back dress code is fine. Think of something like cocktail attire or smart-casual if you’re keeping things relaxed. For a formal dinner, you may want to set a more specific dress code, like black tie or semi-formal.
I always recommend asking your guests to dress appropriately for the venue, and this should be communicated clearly on the invitation.
Entertainment: Creating a Fun Atmosphere
Entertainment can make the evening even more enjoyable. For something laid-back, consider a live band or even a playlist of your favourite songs. A couple I worked with hosted their dinner at a winery, and we added a local jazz trio, which set a fun, elegant tone for the evening.
If you’re in the mood for something interactive, you could include games or ice-breakers, especially if guests don’t know each other well. Something as simple as a wedding trivia game can get everyone involved and laughing.
Capturing the Moment: Photography, Final Tips, and Last-Minute Considerations
The rehearsal dinner is just as important to document as the wedding day itself. Whether you hire a photographer or set up a DIY photo booth, capturing these moments will help you relive the memories for years to come. But before you get lost in the details, here are some final tips to ensure everything goes smoothly:
Photography: Capturing Key Moments
While the wedding day is full of posed photos, the rehearsal dinner is an opportunity for candid, relaxed shots. I recommend hiring a photographer or a friend with a good eye to capture toasts, mingling, and those little moments that tell the story of the evening. One couple I worked with added photo booths with props, which became a highlight for their guests.
Final Tips for a Stress-Free Rehearsal Dinner
- Stay Organised: Make sure all your logistics are in place well in advance. Confirm the guest list, menu, venue, and timeline with your vendors.
- Delegate Tasks: Have someone—whether it’s a wedding planner, family member, or friend—help with the coordination on the day. This will take the pressure off the couple and allow you to enjoy the evening.
- Leave Room for Spontaneity: While planning is essential, remember to leave room for unplanned moments. These are often the best memories.
Last-Minute Considerations
- Check in with Vendors: A day or two before the event, confirm everything with your vendors to ensure there are no surprises.
- Be Present: Finally, remember that the rehearsal dinner is about enjoying time with your loved ones. It’s easy to get caught up in the details, but take a moment to soak it all in before the wedding day rush begins.
The rehearsal dinner is a pre-wedding event where close family, friends, and the wedding party gather to rehearse the ceremony and celebrate before the big day. It’s an opportunity for both families to bond, for the couple to express gratitude, and to set the tone for the wedding weekend.
The guest list typically includes the wedding party, immediate family, and officiant, but can be extended for larger gatherings or destination weddings. Key aspects to consider are the timing, venue, and menu, as well as speeches and toasts that help personalise the event.
Rehearsal dinner themes, decor, and entertainment should match the overall vibe of the wedding, creating a fun, relaxed atmosphere. Remember to capture the moments with photos and delegate tasks to ensure everything runs smoothly.
