Gone are the days when wedding roles were strictly divided by gender. Today, more couples are choosing to break with tradition, incorporating their closest male friends, brothers, or even business colleagues into the bridal party. This shift not only reflects a broader trend toward inclusivity but also emphasises that the most important aspect of wedding roles is the support and bond you share with those standing by your side.
Whether it’s a male or female friend, what truly matters is the connection you have with them, and their willingness to support you through one of the most significant moments of your life. As modern weddings continue to evolve, having a bridesman is not just accepted; it’s celebrated.
Summary
Modern weddings are moving away from traditional gender roles, with more brides including close male friends, brothers, or colleagues as “bridesmen” in their bridal parties. This trend reflects a growing focus on inclusivity and the importance of having supportive, meaningful relationships by your side on your big day. Bridesmen bring unique perspectives, reduce pre-wedding drama, and add versatility to the bridal party. Their involvement can range from wedding planning to participating in pre-wedding celebrations, and they often wear attire that complements the bridesmaids. Ultimately, having a bridesman is not only accepted but celebrated as weddings evolve.
Why You Should Consider a Bridesman?
1. Eliminating Traditional Stereotypes
Many brides today find themselves asking, “Is it okay to have a male bridesmaid?” The answer is a resounding yes. The roles of groomsmen and bridesmaids have evolved significantly, allowing for more flexibility and personalisation in wedding planning. Your best male friend has been there through thick and thin, and he deserves to be by your side on this special day. While some might raise an eyebrow at the unconventional choice, the support of a trusted male friend can bring a refreshing dynamic to your wedding party.
2. Less Drama, More Fun
One of the significant benefits of having a male in your bridal party is the potential reduction in pre-wedding drama. Men often bring a different perspective and are less likely to engage in the kind of competitive or dramatic behaviour sometimes associated with all-female bridal parties. This can be particularly beneficial during the stressful wedding planning process, as a bridesman can offer a calm, logical approach when emotions run high.
Moreover, your bridesman can provide valuable insights into what might appeal to your groom and male guests. He can suggest the best drinks, activities, and even gifts that will be well-received by the men at your wedding. His presence can also add a layer of protection—whether it’s helping with security at the bachelorette party or acting as a buffer during family drama.
3. A Versatile Addition
A bridesman’s versatility is one of his greatest assets. He can take on various roles, such as helping with heavy lifting, assisting in last-minute errands, or even stepping in as a stand-in date for one of your single bridesmaids. His ability to adapt to different situations will be invaluable on your wedding day. Additionally, having a male friend in the bridal party can provide a unique balance, ensuring that the wedding planning process remains fun and relaxed.
The Role of a Bridesman in Your Wedding
1. Helping with Wedding Planning
Like any bridesmaid, your bridesman is there to assist with the wedding planning, celebrate with you before the big day, and support you during the ceremony. However, it’s important to ensure that he feels comfortable in his role. For instance, while he may not be the ideal person to host a traditional bridal shower, he can contribute in other meaningful ways.
Consider assigning him tasks that play to his strengths. If your bridesman is a skilled organiser, he could help manage the logistics of the day. If he’s a foodie, involve him in taste-testing sessions for the wedding menu. The key is to include him in ways that make him feel valued without overwhelming him with responsibilities typically associated with female bridal party members.
2. Participating in Pre-Wedding Celebrations
Including your bridesman in pre-wedding events, such as a couples’ shower or joint bachelor/bachelorette parties, is a great way to integrate your entire wedding party. These events offer an opportunity for everyone to bond, ensuring that by the time the wedding day arrives, your bridal party is a cohesive unit.
If your bridesman is comfortable, he can even participate in traditionally female-centred events, like the bachelorette party. However, it’s also perfectly acceptable for him to skip these events if they don’t appeal to him. The important thing is that he feels included and knows his presence is valued.
3. What Should He Wear?
One common question brides have is, “What should a bridesman wear?” It’s crucial that his attire complements the bridesmaids while also distinguishing him from the groomsmen. Typically, bridesmen wear suits similar to the groomsmen, but with unique touches like a different tie, vest, or boutonniere that ties into the overall colour scheme of the bridal party.
For example, if the bridesmaids are wearing blush pink dresses, your bridesman could wear a suit in a neutral colour like grey or navy, paired with a blush tie or pocket square. Alternatively, you could opt for a more coordinated look by having him wear a suit in a contrasting colour, such as a light tan, that complements the bridal party’s attire while allowing him to stand out as a special member of the group.
Naming Your Bridesman
1. Titles That Reflect Your Friendship
Choosing a title for your male bridesmaid can be both fun and meaningful. Options include “Man of Honour,” “Bride’s Best Man,” or simply “Bridesman.” The name should reflect the unique bond you share with him and the role he’ll play in your wedding. This title can also be used in your wedding programme, helping to introduce him to your guests and acknowledge his special place in your life.
If your bridesman is particularly close to you, such as a brother or lifelong friend, you might even consider giving him the title of “Co-Maid of Honour” or “Best Person.” These titles emphasise his importance in your bridal party and ensure that his contributions are recognised alongside those of your female attendants.
Guidelines for Having a Bridesman
1. Encourage Gender-Inclusive Bonding
When your bridal party includes members of different genders, it’s crucial to create opportunities for everyone to bond. If your bridesman is the only male, make him feel welcome by hosting events where everyone can get to know each other. This could be as simple as a game night, a movie marathon, or a casual dinner at your favourite restaurant.
Encouraging your bridal party to spend time together before the wedding helps build camaraderie, ensuring that everyone feels comfortable and connected on the big day. It also allows your bridesman to form meaningful relationships with the bridesmaids, which can enhance the overall wedding experience for everyone involved.
2. Treat Everyone Equally
Regardless of gender, all members of your wedding party should be treated equally. If your bridesman isn’t comfortable attending a bridal shower, that’s fine, but he should still be included in other pre-wedding events. Consider planning inclusive activities or combining events to accommodate everyone’s preferences.
For example, if you’re planning a bridal shower, you might choose to host a more casual event, such as a brunch or a cocktail party, where both male and female friends feel comfortable attending. Alternatively, you could organise separate events for different groups within your bridal party, ensuring that everyone has the opportunity to celebrate with you in a way that suits them best.
3. Coordinated Attire
Whether you prefer a uniform look or a mix-and-match style, ensure that your bridesman’s attire coordinates with the rest of the bridal party. Many retailers offer options to match colours and fabrics across different types of clothing, making it easy to find a tie or accessory that matches your bridesmaid dresses.
To create a cohesive look, consider choosing a colour palette that complements both the bridesmaids’ dresses and the bridesman’s suit. For example, if your bridesmaids are wearing shades of blue, your bridesman could wear a suit in a coordinating shade, with a tie or pocket square in a matching hue. This approach ensures that your bridal party looks polished and unified, while still allowing each member to express their individual style.
4. Getting Ready on the Big Day
On the wedding day, grooming arrangements may differ depending on the gender makeup of your bridal party. While your bridesmaids might spend hours on hair and makeup, your bridesman may only need a quick shave and a bit of styling gel. Plan the morning’s schedule to ensure that everyone feels comfortable and included.
If your bridesman prefers not to spend the morning in the bridal suite, consider arranging a separate space where he can get ready. This could be the groom’s suite or another designated area where he can relax before the ceremony. Alternatively, if your bridesman is comfortable, he could join the bridesmaids for part of the morning, such as breakfast or a pre-wedding toast, before heading off to get ready on his own.
5. Gender-Neutral Gifts
When it comes to gifts for your bridal party, it can be easier to choose a single, thoughtful item rather than specific gendered gifts. Consider what your friends will appreciate and what will remind them of their time in your wedding. Personalised gifts, like engraved items or custom accessories, work well for any gender.
For example, you could choose matching robes, tote bags, or jewellery for your bridal party, with personalised touches for each member. Alternatively, you might opt for experience-based gifts, such as tickets to a concert or a spa day, that allow your bridesmaids and bridesman to enjoy a special treat after the wedding.
The Role of the Best Man: Supporting the Bride
1. Communicate Clearly
As with any member of your wedding party, it’s essential to communicate clearly with your bridesman about his role and responsibilities. Discuss what you expect from him and how he can best support you throughout the wedding planning process. Clear communication ensures that he feels confident in his role and knows exactly what is expected of him.
2. Involve Him in Pre-Wedding Preparations
Just as you would with your bridesmaids, involve your bridesman in the pre-wedding preparations. Whether he’s skilled at crafting, baking, or building, there’s likely something he can contribute. This involvement will make him feel more connected to the wedding and give him a sense of ownership in the planning process.
For example, if your bridesman is handy with tools, he could help build a photo booth backdrop or assemble decorations. If he’s a culinary enthusiast, he might assist with creating the wedding favours or helping with the menu planning. By tapping into his strengths, you can make the most of his talents and ensure that he feels valued as a member of your bridal party.
3. Emotional Support
The same reasons that led you to choose your bridesmaids apply to selecting your bridesman. His role is to offer emotional support, keeping you calm and grounded as you approach the altar. He’s part of your support system, just like your other attendants, and his presence can help alleviate the stress and anxiety that often accompany wedding planning.
Encourage your bridesman to be a sounding board for your ideas and concerns, whether you’re discussing wedding details or dealing with pre-wedding jitters. His perspective and support will be invaluable as you navigate the ups and downs of the planning process.
4. Include Him in Celebrations
While tradition might dictate that only the bride and her female attendants attend certain pre-wedding events, there’s no reason to exclude your bridesman. Opt for activities he can participate in, such as a co-ed bachelorette party, or choose events that are more gender-neutral. This inclusion not only makes him feel valued but also strengthens the bond within your bridal party.
For example, instead of a traditional bachelorette party, you could plan a weekend getaway that includes your bridesman. Activities like hiking, wine tasting, or a beach day are perfect for a mixed-gender group and allow everyone to relax and have fun together before the big day.
5. Assist on the Wedding Day
On the big day, your bridesman can be invaluable in helping with last-minute tasks, like picking up supplies or running errands. This allows you to focus on enjoying the day without worrying about the details. His support will be especially appreciated if unexpected issues arise, as he can step in to handle problems and ensure that everything runs smoothly.
For instance, your bridesman could be responsible for making sure the wedding party has all the necessary items, such as bouquets, boutonnieres, and rings. He could also assist with coordinating the processional, ensuring that everyone knows where to be and when. By taking on these responsibilities, your bridesman helps alleviate stress and ensures that the day goes off without a hitch.
Conclusion
Including a man in your bridal party can bring a fresh perspective, reduce drama, and offer unique support during the wedding planning process. Your bridesman will play a vital role in your big day, from helping with preparations to standing by your side during the ceremony. By embracing a modern approach to wedding roles, you can create a wedding that truly reflects your relationships and values. Whether it’s by helping you with last-minute tasks, offering emotional support, or simply being there as a trusted friend, your bridesman will be an invaluable part of your wedding celebration.
FAQs About Bridesman
Can You Have A Bridesman?
A bridesman is the male equivalent of a bridesmaid. He is chosen by the bride to be a member of the bridal party and is often a relative or close friend. Choosing the members of their bridal party is no exception.
What Is A Bridesman Called?
A male bridesmaid is usually called a “bridesman” or a “bride’s attendant.” Here, we break down how to flawlessly incorporate your man of honour into your bridal party.
What Does A Bridesman Do?
A bridesman is a close male relative and/or friend of the bride, one who walks down the aisle in the bridal ceremony in the traditional place of a bridesmaid.
Is A Bridesman A Thing
A bridesman is the male equivalent of a bridesmaid. He is chosen by the bride to be a member of the bridal party and is often a relative or close friend. “The beautiful thing about weddings today is that couples add a lot of personal touches that showcase who they are as individuals and as a duo.
What Should A Bridesman Wear?
The key is to complement the bridesmaids and stand apart from the groomsmen. Many bridesmen wear the same suit as the groomsmen, but choose a unique tie, vest, or boutonniere. They can also wear a completely different colored suit that complements the gowns.
