When I got married at Vogue Ballroom, one of the most meaningful parts of the day was the moment my partner and I exchanged our vows. But instead of going with the traditional script, we chose to write our own — and it made all the difference. Writing unconventional wedding vows allowed us to personalise our ceremony and express our love in a unique way that felt true to who we are. If you’re looking to make your vows just as memorable, this guide will walk you through how to craft meaningful, personalised vows that reflect your one-of-a-kind love story.
Why Unconventional Wedding Vows Are a Game-Changer for Your Ceremony
When I got married at Vogue Ballroom, my partner and I made the decision to write our own vows. I’ll be honest — it felt a little intimidating at first. But once we started, it became one of the most meaningful aspects of our day. Custom vows allowed us to express our relationship in a way that no traditional script could capture.
Choosing unconventional wedding vows isn’t just about breaking the rules — it’s about making the moment truly yours. Here’s why opting for personal vows can be a game-changer:
Personalise Your Day
- Showcase your unique relationship: The beauty of unconventional vows is that they allow you to bring in personal stories, memories, and inside jokes that reflect your one-of-a-kind connection.
- Make the ceremony feel intimate: By sharing promises that resonate with both of you, you’ll create a moment that feels more intimate and authentic than a generic vow exchange.
Express Deep Feelings in a Unique Way
- No more clichés: If you’re tired of hearing the same old vows, this is your chance to get creative and make your vows as unique as your relationship.
- Go beyond the usual promises: Rather than relying on traditional lines, you can express the specific emotions that your partner stirs in you, making your words more powerful and meaningful.
Highlight the Bond You Share in Front of Loved Ones
- Celebrate what makes you ‘you’ as a couple: Your vows allow you to publicly declare your love and commitment in a way that your guests will remember.
- Leave a lasting impression: Whether you keep it lighthearted or heartfelt, your vows will be a true reflection of your connection — something guests can feel.
Be Authentic to Who You Are as a Couple
- Don’t just follow the script: Your vows should speak to who you are as a couple. If you’re the fun-loving type, bring in humour. If you’re deeply sentimental, express that too.
- Reflect on your journey together: Think about your shared experiences and the moments that have shaped your relationship. This will make your vows not just personal but genuine.
Avoid the ‘Scripted’ Feeling
- Make it real: Many couples opt for standard vows because they feel comfortable, but there’s something truly special about speaking directly from the heart. Unconventional vows allow you to express your emotions in your own way.
- No awkward performances: If you’re worried about reading something that sounds too rehearsed, writing your own vows can help you avoid that. Instead, you’ll speak naturally and meaningfully.
Tailor Your Promises
- Focus on what matters: Traditional vows are designed to cover broad promises like “in sickness and in health,” but with unconventional vows, you can choose what really matters to you. This is the perfect chance to promise things that align with your values.
- Get specific: Want to promise to always make breakfast on Sundays or share a yearly adventure? Unconventional vows give you the flexibility to make your promises meaningful and unique.
Your Step-by-Step Guide to Writing Custom Wedding Vows
Start with a Heartfelt Brainstorming Session
I remember sitting down with my partner before we started writing our vows. We both had plenty of ideas, but we needed to sort through them. I recommend starting with a brainstorming session where no idea is off-limits. Just write everything down — no editing allowed at first.
Here’s how you can start:
- Jot down your initial thoughts: Write down any memory, thought, or emotion that comes to mind when thinking about your partner. Don’t hold back — let everything flow.
- Include personal quotes or song lyrics: Don’t be afraid to draw inspiration from things that have special meaning to you, such as a line from your favourite movie, a verse from a song that’s meaningful, or even something silly you’ve shared.
- Look back at your journey: Reflect on how you met, your milestones together, and the challenges you’ve overcome. The more specific you get, the more meaningful your vows will be.
Finding Themes in Your Relationship for Unconventional Vows
Once you’ve done the brainstorming, start looking for recurring themes. These could be shared values, key experiences, or specific emotions that define your bond. Themes act as the foundation of your vows.
- What do you both love about each other? Maybe your partner inspires you to be better every day, or perhaps they’re always the calm in the storm.
- Think about the future: What are your shared dreams? Whether it’s starting a family, travelling the world, or building a life together, your vows can reflect your shared hopes.
Once you’ve identified a theme, you’ll have an anchor that’ll help keep your vows focused and cohesive.
Get Specific: Personalise Your Vows with Real-Life Stories
The beauty of writing unconventional vows is the opportunity to get specific. Instead of generic phrases like “I promise to love you forever,” take a moment to reflect on the moments that truly matter to you both.
- Tell a story: Share a meaningful memory that captures your relationship, perhaps a moment when you realised they were “the one” or a funny adventure you had together.
- Use personal anecdotes: Including these personal details not only makes your vows more heartfelt but also more memorable.
For example, one couple I worked with referenced the exact moment they knew they were meant to be. They remembered a time when they supported each other through a challenging situation, and that shared strength became the heart of their vows.
Types of Unconventional Wedding Vows You Can Explore
Funny Wedding Vows: Adding Humour Without Losing the Romance
If humour is a big part of your relationship, why not incorporate it into your vows? A little humour can add personality and make your vows even more memorable. But be careful — humour is best when it feels natural and sincere.
- Keep it lighthearted: A funny vow might be something like, “I vow to always laugh at your bad jokes, even when they’re terrible.”
- Balance with sincerity: It’s important that the humour doesn’t overshadow the emotional weight of your promises. Aim for a healthy balance between fun and meaningful commitments.
Romantic Wedding Vows: Deeply Emotional Promises to Cherish
For couples who prefer a more sentimental approach, romantic vows are a perfect way to express their deep love. These vows focus on your connection and the lifelong commitment you’re making to each other.
- Go deep with your feelings: Think about the specific ways your partner makes your life better, and incorporate that into your vows. Something like, “I vow to always be your biggest supporter, to hold your hand through every challenge, and to celebrate your every success” can be both romantic and powerful.
Simple Yet Meaningful: Short Wedding Vows That Pack a Punch
Not everyone wants to write long, elaborate vows, and that’s perfectly fine. Some of the most memorable vows are short and to the point but packed with meaning.
- Keep it brief but powerful: Something like, “I promise to love you with all my heart, through every laugh, every challenge, and every day for the rest of my life,” can speak volumes in just a few sentences.
- Focus on the essentials: With shorter vows, you have the opportunity to get straight to the core promises that matter the most to you.
Finding Themes in Your Relationship for Unconventional Vows
Once you’ve jotted down your thoughts and feelings, the next step is to start finding recurring themes in your notes. This will give your vows structure and meaning. Think of these themes as the foundation of your vows, guiding what you want to express.
- What do you both value? Whether it’s trust, adventure, loyalty, or family, identifying these themes will help you express promises that resonate deeply.
- Think about shared experiences: Reflect on key moments in your relationship—how you met, milestones, the challenges you’ve faced together, and the memories that shaped your bond. These can serve as anchor points for your vows.
- Focus on the future: Your vows are a declaration of your intentions for the years ahead. What are your shared dreams and goals? This could include starting a family, travelling the world together, or simply growing old together.
Finding these common threads in your relationship will guide you as you start to craft your promises.
Get Specific: Personalise Your Vows with Real-Life Stories
One of the key benefits of writing unconventional vows is that you can make them as specific as you like. Generic promises like “I will love you forever” are fine, but adding personal anecdotes makes your vows feel genuine and connected to your unique journey together.
- Tell the story of your first meeting: Think back to the moment you first met or the first time you knew they were “the one.” A couple I know incorporated the exact moment they shared their first real conversation at a mutual friend’s party. It became a funny and heartfelt way to begin their vows
- Share personal experiences: Including specific moments in your vows helps paint a clear picture of your love. For instance, one couple shared how they supported each other during difficult times and made promises based on those shared experiences. These specific details made their vows truly memorable.
- Include quirky memories: Don’t be afraid to mention the little things that make your relationship special. Maybe it’s the way your partner always makes you coffee in the morning or how they help you when you’re feeling stressed. These small details are the ones that make your relationship unique.
The more specific you are, the more personal and meaningful your vows will feel. These real-life stories will allow both you and your partner to reflect on the true essence of your bond.
Types of Unconventional Wedding Vows You Can Explore
Funny Wedding Vows: Adding Humour Without Losing the Romance
Humour is a great way to inject personality into your vows, but it’s essential to strike the right balance. Funny vows can add lightness and charm to your ceremony, but they should never overshadow the seriousness of the commitment you’re making.
- Subtle humour works best: Think about the quirky traits that make your partner unique and weave them into your vows. For example, “I promise to always laugh at your bad jokes, even when they’re truly awful” or “I vow to never steal the covers… unless you’re already hogging them.”
- Keep it meaningful: While humour is important, it’s essential to ensure that your vows still carry emotional weight. It’s about finding a way to make your guests smile while still expressing your love and commitment.
One couple I worked with included a line about how they promised to always let each other have the last slice of pizza—a simple, humorous promise that made their vows feel fun and light-hearted.
Romantic Wedding Vows: Deeply Emotional Promises to Cherish
If you lean towards the sentimental side, romantic vows are a great way to share your deep love and commitment. Romantic vows focus on the emotional connection and the future you hope to build together.
- Be sincere and specific: Rather than saying, “I will love you forever,” get more specific. For example, “I vow to always be your safe place, to love you not just in the easy moments, but especially in the challenging ones.”
- Include promises that reflect your partner’s unique qualities: Think about the ways your partner has impacted your life for the better. Perhaps they’ve made you more patient, adventurous, or loving. These qualities can form the foundation for powerful promises.
A couple I worked with promised to “always make time for dates, even after the kids come along” — a beautiful, romantic vow that captured their love and excitement for the future.
Simple Yet Meaningful: Short Wedding Vows That Pack a Punch
Not all vows need to be long-winded to be meaningful. Short vows can be just as powerful when they express genuine commitment and love.
- Be brief but powerful: Short vows allow you to distil your promises to their essence. You don’t need to list every vow; instead, focus on what truly matters. A short vow might look like, “I promise to always love and cherish you, through every high and every low.”
- Keep it heartfelt: Even in fewer words, your vows should still come from the heart. A brief vow allows you to focus on the most important promises, without overwhelming your partner with too much information.
One couple I worked with kept their vows simple: “I vow to always be your partner in everything. Together, we can conquer anything.” These short but meaningful words made for an unforgettable moment.
Unique Elements to Include in Your Wedding Vows
Wedding Vows for Partner: Speaking Directly to Your Love
Tailor your vows to reflect who your partner is and what they mean to you. This is your chance to speak directly to them, expressing the depth of your love and the specific qualities you cherish most.
- Personalise your promises: Reflect on your partner’s strengths and how they’ve shaped your relationship. A promise could be as simple as, “I vow to always support your dreams, even when they seem impossible.”
- Make it about them: Focus on how they’ve impacted your life and how you want to be there for them in return. Speak about what makes them special and how they’ve brought joy into your life.
In my experience, couples who focus their vows on the individual person and not just the relationship tend to create the most touching moments.
Wedding Vows for Same-Sex Couples: Celebrating Love in All Forms
For same-sex couples, wedding vows are an opportunity to celebrate love in its purest form. Your vows can reflect the unique challenges and triumphs of your journey together, celebrating not just your love but the journey to finally being able to publicly commit.
- Celebrate your story: Share how far you’ve come together and the unique aspects of your relationship. Your vows can reflect the joy of finding each other and the strength you’ve built together.
- Acknowledge your love openly: The beauty of same-sex vows is that they can boldly express the love that sometimes needs no further explanation.
A couple I worked with shared their vow in a way that spoke to their shared history, promising to support each other as a team and honour their love regardless of what the world may throw their way.
How to Deliver Your Wedding Vows Like a Pro
Writing your vows is only part of the equation—delivering them with confidence and sincerity is equally important. It’s a moment you’ll remember forever, so making sure your delivery is smooth, heartfelt, and impactful is key.
Wedding Vows Ceremony: Presentation Tips for Maximum Impact
How you present your vows can make all the difference. When I delivered my vows, I focused on the words but also on how they felt. The delivery is where your emotion shines through. Here are a few tips for delivering your vows like a pro:
- Make eye contact with your partner: This creates an intimate connection and allows your words to feel personal.
- Take your time: Don’t rush through your vows. Pause after important moments to let your words sink in.
- Speak from the heart: While practising is important, don’t over-rehearse to the point where your vows sound robotic. Let your natural emotions guide you.
Remember, this is a once-in-a-lifetime moment, so allow yourself to be present in it. Your vows don’t need to be perfect — they need to be sincere.
Practice Makes Perfect: Recite, Edit, and Perfect Your Delivery
While spontaneous vows are beautiful, the delivery will benefit from a bit of preparation. I’ll admit, when I first wrote my vows, I couldn’t read them aloud without getting emotional. Practising them aloud can help you refine your delivery and make sure you hit the key moments without losing control.
Here’s how you can practice:
- Recite your vows aloud: Do this in front of a mirror, or even better, with a trusted friend or family member. This will help you get used to the words and allow you to adjust your tone and pacing.
- Time yourself: Keep your vows within the recommended 1-2 minutes. Practising will help you manage the length without rushing or dragging.
- Refine your tone: Vary your tone to match the emotions in your vows. Be gentle and tender in romantic moments, but don’t be afraid to inject a bit of energy and humour if that suits your style.
Wedding Vows for Every Type of Couple: Tailoring to Your Unique Relationship
Your wedding vows should reflect the essence of your relationship, which is different for every couple. Whether you’re a couple who enjoys the quirky and fun or one who shares a more traditional and emotional bond, your vows should be a true representation of who you are together.
Custom Wedding Vows for Him and Her: Personal Touches for Both Partners
When writing vows for your partner, make sure they feel specifically tailored to them. Reflect on the ways they’ve impacted your life and what they mean to you. If you’re writing vows for your partner, consider these approaches:
- Be specific: Talk about moments when your partner made you feel loved or supported. You could say something like, “I vow to always listen to you, especially when you need someone to talk to after a long day.”
- Acknowledge their unique qualities: What do you love about them that no one else can replicate? Their sense of humour? Their patience? Let them know how these qualities make you a better person.
For example, I remember a couple who incorporated how they make each other better people. One partner promised to “always be there to challenge you to be your best self,” while the other vowed, “to never stop learning with you.”
Meaningful Wedding Vows: Going Beyond Tradition to Express True Feelings
The beauty of writing unconventional vows is the opportunity to go beyond the traditional promises of “in sickness and in health.” While those vows are beautiful, try to think about what makes your relationship special, what you’ve gone through together, and how that’s shaped your bond.
- Share personal growth: Reflect on how your relationship has made both of you better people. You could say, “I promise to continue growing with you, as we’ve done since we first met.”
- Express deep emotions: Don’t shy away from deep feelings. This is the moment to be raw and real about your love and future.
One couple I worked with promised to always support each other’s dreams, no matter how big. The vows centred on growth, mutual respect, and a shared vision for the future.
Final Tips for Writing Heartfelt and Memorable Wedding Vows
By now, you’ve got a solid understanding of how to write unconventional wedding vows that reflect your relationship and personality. But before you finalise everything, here are some final tips to ensure your vows are not only meaningful but also memorable:
Wedding Vows Writing Tips: How to Craft the Perfect Promise
Writing vows can feel overwhelming, but with these tips, you’ll be able to craft promises that will last a lifetime:
- Stay true to your voice: Your vows should sound like you, not like a poem you found online. Speak naturally and from the heart. The best vows are the ones that feel genuine and personal.
- Keep it focused: Don’t try to cover everything. Stick to a few key promises or qualities that define your relationship. Aim for depth, not breadth.
- Balance emotions and practicality: While you want your vows to be emotional, don’t forget to include some practical promises as well. These can be as simple as, “I promise to always help you with your projects”, or “I vow to make time for our date nights.”
Heartfelt Wedding Vows: Make Sure They Speak from the Heart
When you’re writing your vows, always come back to this: speak from the heart. It’s easy to get caught up in perfecting the words, but the most important thing is that your vows come across as sincere and heartfelt.
- Be vulnerable: Don’t be afraid to share your emotions. Whether it’s the joy you feel or the gratitude you have for your partner, these emotions will make your vows resonate.
- Don’t overthink it: It’s easy to get caught up in trying to make your vows “perfect.” But remember, it’s about what feels right to you and your partner. Your vows don’t need to be flawless to be meaningful.
Don’t Forget to Add a Personal Touch
The little personal details make all the difference. Whether it’s a favourite quote, a shared memory, or a funny moment only the two of you understand, adding these touches will make your vows unforgettable.
- Incorporate shared experiences: For example, one couple I worked with included a reference to their first road trip together. The memory wasn’t just sentimental; it was meaningful, and it made their vows feel unique.
- Add something that makes your vows ‘yours.’ Whether it’s a unique phrase you always say to each other or a funny moment, make sure there’s something in your vows that speaks to the heart of your relationship.
Let’s Get Straight to the Point
Writing unconventional wedding vows is a great way to make your ceremony personal, memorable, and authentic. Instead of relying on traditional scripts, consider crafting vows that reflect your unique relationship. Start by brainstorming heartfelt memories and meaningful promises, then get specific with details that showcase your bond. Whether you incorporate humour, romance, or simplicity, your vows should feel true to you as a couple. Practice delivering them with sincerity, and consider keeping them as treasured keepsakes. By following these steps, your vows will leave a lasting impression on both you and your guests.
