Planning a wedding is meant to be one of the most exciting times in a couple’s life, but it’s easy for it to turn stressful, especially with so many decisions and details to juggle. I remember the pressure I felt when planning my wedding at Vogue Ballroom. Between choosing the right wedding vendors, finalising the guest list, and ensuring every little detail was just right, the stress crept up faster than I’d expected.
However, after working with countless couples in Melbourne and seeing the same challenges pop up time and again, I’ve picked up a few strategies to keep things running smoothly and keep the stress at bay. Here’s what worked for me—and what’s worked for many others.
Identify Your Top Priorities Early On
One of the first things my partner and I did when we started planning our wedding was sit down and get clear on our priorities. And let me tell you, this was a game-changer. We asked ourselves, “What truly matters to us?” This wasn’t about the biggest or most expensive items, but what would make the day ours.
Focus on What Matters Most to You and Your Partner
For example, I knew the reception venue was a priority. I’d always dreamt of getting married at a venue with stunning architecture, and Vogue Ballroom ticked that box. For my partner, food was a must. He didn’t care about the décor as much as he cared about a fantastic spread for our guests. We narrowed it down to three main priorities: venue, food, and photography.
With our priorities set, we had a clear guide for every decision we made after that. When things got overwhelming, we returned to this list, reminding ourselves of the things that mattered most, and let the smaller, less critical details fall into place.
Actionable Tip: Sit down with your partner and create a list of your top 3 wedding priorities. This will be your reference point throughout the planning process.
Set a Realistic Budget and Stick to It
Budgeting is one of the biggest sources of stress when planning a wedding. I’ll admit, I felt a bit of sticker shock when we started looking at vendors. But after working with a wedding coordinator, we learned how to break things down into categories and allocate money to each one, starting with the essentials and working our way down.
How to Break Down Your Budget
We set a realistic budget early on and agreed that we wouldn’t go above it, no matter how tempting it was. For example, I was dead-set on having the best photographer, so we decided to allocate a bit more of our budget there. But we also chose to be more flexible with other parts of the wedding, like décor, where we didn’t need to splurge on every single detail.
It’s crucial to track your spending as you go, so you don’t end up in a situation where you’re scrambling to make up for overspending in certain areas. I recommend using a budgeting tool or a simple spreadsheet to keep track. Trust me, it will save you plenty of headaches in the long run.
Actionable Tip: Create a detailed budget early on and stick to it. Don’t forget to allocate extra for unforeseen costs (tips, taxes, etc.), which can easily be overlooked.
Stay Organised and On Track with Your Wedding Planning
It wasn’t until my own wedding that I truly realised how important staying organised is. Planning a wedding can feel like juggling multiple tasks at once, and without a clear system in place, it’s easy to miss important details or get overwhelmed.
Tools to Stay Organised During Wedding Planning
We used a wedding planning binder and kept everything from vendor contracts to receipts in one place. Each section was broken down by category—venue, catering, photography, etc.—and we had a timeline for when tasks needed to be completed. Every time I felt like I was losing track, I could pull out my binder and see exactly where we were in the process.
I also found that using a separate email for all wedding-related communications kept things in check. It was so much easier to manage everything when it wasn’t getting lost in my personal inbox.
Actionable Tip: Keep all your wedding documents organised in a binder or digital folder. Use a wedding-specific email to keep track of all vendor communications and updates.
Delegate Tasks and Ask for Help
Let’s face it: you can’t do everything yourself, no matter how much you try. I was guilty of thinking I could handle it all in the beginning, but after a couple of sleepless nights, I realised I needed help, and that’s where friends and family came in.
Who Can You Ask for Help?
You don’t have to do everything yourself. Delegate tasks to those around you who are happy to pitch in. I knew a few friends who had great taste in décor, so they took on the responsibility of helping me pick out the wedding centrepieces. One of my cousins was a whizz at spreadsheets, so she helped me track RSVPs and seating arrangements. It made all the difference to have people who were willing to jump in.
Just make sure you delegate specific tasks, so there’s no confusion. It can be tempting to say, “Can you help with wedding planning?” but giving clear instructions is key. Trust others to handle their tasks and show appreciation for their help.
Actionable Tip: Identify people who are excited to help and delegate specific tasks to them. Be clear with your expectations, and don’t forget to thank them!
Consider Hiring a Wedding Planner or Coordinator
If you can swing it in your budget, hiring a wedding planner or coordinator can be a lifesaver. When I was planning my own wedding, I wasn’t sure whether hiring a planner would be worth the expense. However, after talking to a few friends who had used planners, I decided to give it a go. And let me tell you, I don’t regret it for a second.
How a Wedding Planner Takes the Pressure Off Your Shoulders
A wedding planner isn’t just someone who picks out flowers or arranges seating charts—they are professional organisers who can help you with every step of the process. They’ll manage the budget, find the best vendors, keep you on schedule, and handle last-minute hiccups. For us, our wedding planner took care of the stressful coordination and made sure we stayed on track.
Even if hiring a full-time planner doesn’t fit within your budget, consider hiring a day-of coordinator or month-of coordinator. These planners step in to handle everything on the day of your wedding (or in the final month before), which can be a huge relief when you’re already feeling the pressure of everything coming together.
Actionable Tip: If your budget allows, consider hiring a wedding planner or coordinator to help with the heavy lifting. If not, look into a day-of coordinator to ensure the final details are taken care of.
Maintain Open and Honest Communication
This might seem like a no-brainer, but I can’t tell you how many couples I’ve worked with who ended up feeling stressed out because they weren’t on the same page. Effective communication with your partner, family, and wedding vendors is essential for avoiding misunderstandings that can lead to unnecessary stress.
Communicating with Your Partner and Wedding Vendors
My partner and I agreed from the start that we would be open about our needs, concerns, and expectations. We set aside regular meetings to discuss our wedding planning progress and check in on how we were both feeling about the process. This openness helped us avoid frustration later on.
Clear communication extends to your wedding vendors too. If anything changes (like timing, preferences, or guest list adjustments), make sure you communicate those changes promptly. Vendors are there to make your day easier, but they can’t do that if they’re in the dark about any updates.
Actionable Tip: Have regular “check-ins” with your partner to make sure you’re both on the same page. Maintain open lines of communication with vendors, especially when it comes to changes.
Prioritise Self-Care and Well-being
Weddings can feel like a marathon, and if you don’t take care of yourself along the way, burnout is inevitable. I vividly remember getting so caught up in the details that I neglected my own health. It wasn’t until a few friends pointed it out that I realised I hadn’t been eating properly or getting enough sleep.
Take Care of Your Physical and Mental Health
You know what they say—“You can’t pour from an empty cup.” Make sure you’re carving out time for yourself. Take breaks from wedding planning, whether it’s for a quick walk, reading a book, or catching up with friends. These small moments of reprieve will help keep you level-headed.
Exercise is a great way to reduce stress, so incorporate some light physical activity into your routine. Whether it’s yoga, a jog around the block, or a bike ride through the park, moving your body will help reduce anxiety and boost your mood.
Set Realistic Boundaries
Another tip that helped me a lot during my wedding planning journey was setting boundaries. I quickly realised that I couldn’t attend every pre-wedding event, answer every email immediately, or be available 24/7 for wedding-related calls. I made sure to schedule “off” days where wedding talk was off the table. Trust me, it’s necessary.
Actionable Tip: Schedule regular breaks, prioritise your sleep, and don’t be afraid to say no to extra tasks or events if it’s going to overload you.
Connect with Your Partner
Amidst the wedding planning whirlwind, it’s easy to lose sight of the reason you’re doing all of this in the first place—your relationship. I remember after a particularly stressful week of finalising details, my partner and I had a quiet evening together, just the two of us, no wedding talk allowed. Those moments really helped us stay grounded.
How to Stay Bonded While Planning
Plan “wedding-free” date nights where you can talk about anything but the wedding. Watch a movie, have dinner at a local spot, or take a walk in a nearby park—anything that lets you reconnect without the pressure of the big day. These simple moments will remind you that it’s about more than just the wedding day.
Also, make sure that the planning process is a team effort. Share tasks and decision-making, so one person doesn’t feel like they’re doing all the heavy lifting. In my experience, working together to make decisions made us feel more united.
Actionable Tip: Schedule regular wedding-free breaks with your partner to strengthen your relationship during the planning period.
Focus on the Big Picture
When the stress starts to creep in, it’s important to remember the bigger picture. Weddings are not about perfection—they’re about celebrating your love and commitment to each other. Trust me, I got so wrapped up in the idea of the perfect day that I lost sight of what really mattered: the meaning behind the day.
Keep Perspective When Things Feel Overwhelming
During the planning process, take a step back and reflect on why you’re getting married. Will a tiny detail—like the exact shade of flowers or the precise font on your invitations—matter in 10 years? Probably not. Keep your eye on the bigger picture, and you’ll realise that many of those “stressful” details don’t carry the same weight they feel like in the moment.
Actionable Tip: When stress gets to be too much, remind yourself of the bigger picture—your love and the life you’re building together. This can help put the small things into perspective.
Set Realistic Expectations and Embrace Imperfections
One of the hardest lessons I learned during my wedding planning was to let go of the idea of perfection. I had always envisioned my wedding as a flawless event, but the reality was that nothing went exactly as planned. And you know what? It didn’t matter. It was still one of the most memorable days of my life.
Why Perfection Isn’t the Goal
When you’re planning your wedding, the temptation to aim for perfection is real. Whether it’s about the perfectly folded napkins, the ideal guest list, or getting every detail just right, the pressure can quickly become overwhelming.
I had my heart set on perfect weather for our outdoor ceremony, but the forecast predicted rain. We had a backup plan, and while the rain did come, it wasn’t the end of the world. In fact, it ended up creating a cosy, intimate atmosphere under the marquee, and we loved the photos taken with the raindrops.
Setting Realistic Expectations
If you set the expectation that everything will be flawless, you’ll only set yourself up for disappointment. Accept that things may not go perfectly, and that’s okay. The key is flexibility. A backup plan or two can save you from stress if things take an unexpected turn. And the best part? Some of the unplanned moments can turn into cherished memories.
Actionable Tip: Embrace imperfections and focus on the love and joy that your wedding represents. When things don’t go according to plan, adapt and remember that it’s about celebrating your commitment to each other.
Tips for the Wedding Day
The big day is finally here. All your hard work and planning have led to this moment. Now, the last thing you want is for stress to creep in on the actual wedding day. I know that on the day of our wedding, there was so much happening, and it felt like a whirlwind—but by sticking to some simple strategies, we kept stress at bay.
Wedding Day Timeline: The Key to Staying Calm
One of the best decisions we made was creating a detailed wedding day timeline and sharing it with everyone involved—vendors, the bridal party, and family. When everyone knows what to expect, it eliminates confusion and reduces last-minute surprises. We had time slots for hair, makeup, transportation, and photography, and it was amazing how much easier everything felt when we stuck to the plan.
Delegate Tasks on the Day
On the wedding day, don’t try to handle everything yourself. I had an emergency kit packed with extra makeup, safety pins, tissues, and snacks, just in case. My wedding coordinator helped me with all the logistical tasks, making sure everything ran smoothly. Knowing that someone else was in charge of the details allowed me to enjoy the moments without worry.
Be Ready for the Unexpected
Even with the best planning, things may not always go according to schedule. But that’s okay. Our wedding day came with a few curveballs, but we rolled with the punches. For example, we had a last-minute venue switch for photos due to rain, but it ended up being even more picturesque than we had planned for.
Actionable Tip: Create a detailed wedding day timeline and share it with everyone involved. Delegate tasks and keep an emergency kit on hand for any surprises that come your way.
Key Takeaways for Stress-Free Wedding Planning
Planning a wedding can feel overwhelming at times, but by following these practical steps, you can minimise stress and focus on what matters most—your love and the celebration of your union. Here are some key takeaways from what I’ve learned:
Actionable Advice for Managing Wedding Planning Stress
- Plan Ahead: The more time you give yourself, the less rushed and stressed you’ll feel.
- Communicate: Regularly check in with your partner, vendors, and bridal party to ensure smooth coordination.
- Delegate: Don’t try to do everything yourself. Share responsibilities to reduce your workload.
- Stay Organised: Use a checklist and timeline to manage tasks efficiently.
- Prioritise Self-Care: Take breaks, eat well, and make time for yourself to avoid burnout.
The journey leading up to your wedding day should be just as meaningful as the day itself. So, take a deep breath, trust in the process, and remember that a little stress is normal. At the end of the day, you’re celebrating a new chapter with the love of your life, and that’s the most important thing.
Let’s Get Straight to the Point
Wedding planning can quickly turn overwhelming with so many decisions, expectations, and logistics to manage. To minimise stress, start by prioritising what’s most important to you and your partner, and set a realistic budget. Stay organised with a detailed checklist, timeline, and clear communication. Don’t hesitate to delegate tasks or hire a planner to lighten the load. Most importantly, take care of yourself by scheduling breaks, getting enough sleep, and focusing on the big picture—your love and celebration. Remember that imperfection is part of the process, and staying flexible will help you enjoy the journey to your big day.
