Planning a hens night is an exciting milestone in the lead-up to the big day. But, as any seasoned Maid of Honour or bridesmaid will tell you, it can quickly become overwhelming—especially when it comes to handling the costs. Who pays for what? And how can you keep things fair for everyone involved?
When I was planning my best friend’s hens night, the question of who should foot the bill was a hot topic. It wasn’t just about splitting the costs—it was about finding a balance that worked for everyone. From the bride to her bridesmaids, and all the wonderful guests in between, there’s often a mix of emotions when it comes to money. In this guide, I’ll break down how to handle the hens night payment process and share a few tips and stories that might help you navigate the financial side of things with ease.
Who Pays for the Hens Night? Breaking Down the Financials
Traditional Approach: Bridesmaids Take the Lead
When you think of a traditional hens night, the image that probably comes to mind is of the bridesmaids, often led by the Maid of Honour, pulling together the event and paying for a large portion of the costs. When my own wedding was in the works, my Maid of Honour and I spent countless hours figuring out how to plan a party that celebrated me, but also made sure my friends didn’t feel pressured to overspend.
In the past, this method helped relieve the bride of the financial burden. The goal was to provide the bride with an experience she would never forget while sharing the expenses amongst the bridal party. However, this approach often resulted in some guests feeling a bit uncomfortable with the unequal distribution of costs.
Modern Approach: Sharing the Load
Fast forward to today, and a modern-day hens night typically has a more inclusive feel, where costs are split amongst the group. This approach is much more practical and helps avoid any one person taking on too much responsibility. When I helped plan my sister’s hens party, we decided on a shared financial model. Every guest contributed towards the costs of activities, food, and even the bride’s share—meaning everyone felt involved and it wasn’t just left to the bridal party.
This shift also accommodates the reality that many people have different financial situations. Some guests may be in a position to contribute more, while others may need to scale back their spending. Open communication about costs early on ensures that no one feels put out or overwhelmed.
Who Should Pay for What? Understanding the Breakdown of Costs
Guest Expenses: Who’s Responsible for What?
When it comes to your average hens party, guests are generally expected to pay for their own lodge, meals, and travel expenses. For local parties, this often means paying their share of the bill when it comes to things like meals at a restaurant or drinks at the venue. If you’re hosting a destination party, guests should also plan for their own travel expenses and accommodations. After all, they’re there to celebrate with you, and these are personal costs they should plan for accordingly.
A good example of this was during a close friend’s hens night held in Melbourne, where everyone pitched in for meals and shared taxis to get between locations. No one felt singled out, and everyone was able to enjoy the night knowing they had contributed equally.
The Bride’s Share: Who Covers the Bride’s Costs?
Traditionally, the bride doesn’t pay for her own hens night. In fact, covering the bride’s costs is often seen as a gift from her closest friends. During my best friend’s hens party, we made sure to cover her share—this included meals, drinks, and even some of the quirky extras like her sash and party props. It’s a nice gesture that allows the bride to feel pampered without stressing over the costs.
How is the Bride’s Share Covered?
- Bridal Party Contribution: In many cases, the bridal party splits the cost of the bride’s expenses as a group. This was the case for me when I was Maid of Honour; my bridal party and I divvied up the cost of the bride’s meal, drinks, and her portion of the decorations.
- Dividing the Bride’s Expense Among All Guests: A more modern approach that we took for my sister’s hens night was asking each guest to contribute a small additional fee when they RSVP’d. This helped cover the bride’s costs without anyone feeling the pinch. It’s also a great way to ensure there’s a surplus that can be used for any last-minute surprises or extra treats for the bride.
- Event Planners’ Contribution: If you decide to work with an event planner, they might ask the guests to contribute towards the bride’s costs. However, always make sure this is communicated well in advance.
Managing the Finances: Setting a Budget for a Smooth Celebration
Creating the Budget: What’s Realistic for Everyone?
One of the most important things when planning a hens night is ensuring that everyone is on the same page when it comes to costs. During the planning phase of my best friend’s hens party, I quickly realised that financial comfort zones can vary widely within a group. Some guests were comfortable with a luxury spa day, while others had to stick to a more modest budget. To keep things smooth, we set a clear budget from the start.
A great approach is to get a sense of what everyone is willing to spend. We sent out a quick poll asking about budget preferences, which helped us narrow down the options. We then chose a few activities and venues that fit within our group’s financial comfort zone, from an affordable cocktail bar to a fun activity that everyone could enjoy.
Pro Tip: Consider creating a “ballpark figure” that covers major costs such as activities, accommodation, transport, food, and drinks. Be flexible with the budget, allowing for unexpected costs, and make sure the figure works for everyone involved. A clear agreement up front helps ensure there are no surprises along the way.
Clear Communication: The Key to Preventing Discomfort
Let’s face it—money can sometimes be a tricky subject, but it doesn’t need to cause tension if you communicate openly. I remember when we were organising the hens night for my sister, we made sure to discuss the costs openly and without hesitation. We even set up a group chat where everyone could share their concerns or ask about the budget. That way, no one was left feeling uncomfortable or unsure about their contribution.
One of the best things we did was send out a detailed invitation that outlined exactly what was covered and what guests needed to pay. This included specifics like the cost of meals, drinks, accommodation, and any extra activities (such as a cocktail-making class or a surprise limo ride). By the time the event rolled around, everyone knew exactly what they were in for, and it made the experience stress-free for everyone.
Managing Payments: How to Keep Everything Organised
Handling Payments: Who Pays and When?
When it comes to paying, things can get a bit tricky if you don’t manage them properly. During one hens party I organised, we found that it was far easier to have everyone pay in advance—especially when there were significant costs like accommodation and group dinners. It saved us from chasing people down on the night for their share, which would’ve been uncomfortable for everyone.
We used an app called Venmo to collect the payments for everything from activities to meals. This method is not only efficient but also eliminates any awkwardness around money. For larger items, such as accommodations or major group activities, guests can pay upfront, or the Maid of Honour (or whoever is in charge) can collect the funds before booking.
Pro Tip: To ensure everything is covered without last-minute hiccups, consider setting deadlines for payments. It helps everyone stay on track and removes the possibility of “I’ll pay you back later” becoming an issue.
Tracking Expenses: Staying on Top of Costs
Keeping track of the expenses can be a bit of a job, but it’s essential to avoid confusion. We found that creating a shared Google Spreadsheet helped keep everyone organised. The Maid of Honour took the lead in tracking the costs—everything from meals to activities and transport. Every time someone paid, it was updated in real-time, so everyone could see the breakdown of the costs.
Pro Tip: If you’re not comfortable with spreadsheets, apps like Splitwise or Venmo provide an easy way to track what everyone owes, making it clear and straightforward for the entire group.
Contingency Fund: A Must-Have for Unexpected Costs
In our case, we included a small contingency fund in the budget to cover any unforeseen costs, like last-minute transport or extra snacks for the party bus. It’s always a good idea to have a little buffer, as these extra expenses are bound to pop up during the planning process.
Pro Tip: If there’s money left over from the contingency fund, consider using it to spoil the bride—perhaps with an extra bottle of champagne or a thoughtful gift for the bride that no one expected.
The Difference Between Hens Nights and Bridal Showers: A Payment Distinction
Hens Nights vs. Bridal Showers: What’s the Difference in Payment?
It’s important to note that hens nights and bridal showers are typically very different events when it comes to payment etiquette.
- Hens Night: Typically a celebratory party where guests pay for their own expenses, and gifts are not expected. It’s more about fun, friendship, and celebrating the bride-to-be.
- Bridal Shower: In contrast, the bridal shower is usually a hosted event, often by a friend or family member. The host covers the venue, food, and drinks, while guests bring gifts for the bride.
These two events can overlap, but it’s important to remember the different expectations when planning both.
