So the ring is firmly on your finger, and you’re excitedly plowing ahead with plans for your big day. Then you suddenly hit a brick wall and realize there are a million and one things to do, as well as a mountain of decisions to be made and you’re struggling to know what to do first or even how to answer all those questions being thrown your way.
Don’t worry, we feel your pain, and we see it happen often. You’re bound to get caught up in the excitement and want to do everything all at once, it’s an exciting process and one to be enjoyed to the max. When we start working with our couples, the first thing we advise them is to step away from Pinterest, put those bridal magazines down and just stop and think about the whole experience.
Start with what’s important to the two of you
The very first thing to do is to think about what’s important to you both for your wedding day and how you want to feel on the day?. Do you want it to be fun, heartfelt, romantic, full of surprises, respectful of traditions or one-hell-of-a-party?
A good exercise is to sit back and play it out in your head. Now imagine: what will happen when you wake up on the day of your wedding, what will you do, who will you see, what will they say to you and how does it make you feel? Then move onto getting ready, the ceremony, dinner and so on. It may feel a little silly at first, but spending time playing out the scenario in your head, from morning to night, may give you a few surprising insights into what’s really important to you.
I bet it wasn’t the color of the tablecloths on your mind, was it? Sure those more exceptional details can help you create a beautiful day, full of stylish touches, but they’re not the most important aspects. It’s crucial that you start with those that are core to your happiness as these will help you focus on everything else.
Think about what you don’t want
Sitting down to think about what you really want from your wedding day can be scary to approach it from a less daunting angle and perhaps think about what you don’t want.
List out any of those traditional aspects usually associated with weddings that perhaps aren’t that important to you. Maybe you’re not keen on a first dance, perhaps you loathe formal dinners or don’t really have a sweet tooth. Sure we’re getting into specifics here, but sometimes the no-go list can help us formalize on the flipside what is essential.
Now let’s think about weddings – but not your own
We’ve all been to parties that we loved and those that well, perhaps we enjoyed a little less. Think back to those days and pick out the elements that made them really work or not work so well; was it the food, the atmosphere, the entertainment? What you notice as being conducive to creating a memorable experience will shed some light on those aspects you can be focusing on for your own.
What do you want your guests to say about it?
Finally, imagine your guests talking about your wedding day to a complete stranger. What would you want them to say about it and more importantly how would you want them to feel?
Think about the entire process
Getting married is of course about more than just one day. So think about the whole process of being engaged and planning your wedding day. Do you want some time to enjoy being engaged first before you start thinking about specifics? Do you want to be totally involved in the planning process or can you split the tasks between the two of you, your friends and family? Do you need to bring in help from a professional in certain areas? Do you want to get really creative and hands-on, crafting unique touches and creative aspects, or do you want to bring someone on board who can do all that for you?
Also, think about how you want other people to feel about your wedding journey, do you want them involved from the start, do you want them to help you bring your day to life, or do you want to spoil them with a beautiful day full of surprises?
This should be a fun process, where you learn more about each other and are reminded of all those beautiful reasons you’re getting hitched in the first place. Don’t just focus on the end result, enjoy the here and now, this is all part of ‘getting married.’
By following these five simple steps, you should now have your wedding vision nailed. This is the foundation you need to create a one-of-a-kind wedding day, full of personal and unique little touches that scream YOU!
By asking yourself these questions, you can start to work out what is essential to the two of you and where to focus your efforts and attention. This is your wedding vision and by having one that’s exactly representative of the kind of day you want allows everything else to naturally fall into place, guiding all those critical decisions you make along the way.
My guessing is no matter what your vision is for your day you want it to be memorable and entirely reflective of the two of you. So in our next installment, we’ll be talking about how you go about defining a meaningful concept for your wedding day, so your day is not only exactly as you imagined it would be, it’s also representative of who you are as a couple.