Deciding to have an intimate wedding can be driven by various factors, whether it’s financial constraints, venue limitations, or simply personal preference. When planning a smaller wedding, it’s essential to carefully curate your guest list to include only your nearest and dearest. This can be challenging, especially if you’re contemplating inviting different groups of people, such as both families and various friends’ groups.
To keep your guest list manageable, here’s how to create a small guest list and stick to it.
Summary
When planning an intimate wedding, it’s essential to carefully curate your guest list to include only your closest family and friends, considering factors like budget, venue size, and personal preferences. An intimate wedding typically includes 50 to 75 guests, a micro wedding has 15 to 50 guests, and a “minimum” wedding involves fewer than 15 guests. To keep your guest list small, focus on inviting those who are most important to you, such as immediate family and close friends, while considering factors like venue capacity and budget. Limit plus-ones, keep the event adult-only, and be prepared to politely explain your choices to those who may not be invited. Finally, consider live-streaming the event or offering virtual options to include those who can’t attend in person.
What Is a Small Wedding?
The size of a wedding can vary greatly depending on factors like family size, social circles, cultural norms, and religious beliefs. Typically, a wedding with 75-150 guests is considered “normal,” while anything above 150 is classified as “large.” If your guest count is under 75, your wedding falls into one of three categories:
- 50 to 75 guests: The ideal range for an intimate wedding.
- 15 to 50 guests: Considered a micro wedding, perfect for a close-knit gathering.
- Under 15 guests: Often referred to as a “minimum” wedding, this is ideal for very intimate ceremonies.
Selecting the Appropriate Number of Wedding Guests
The people you invite to your wedding should be those who have had a significant impact on your life and will continue to be important in the future. Consider who you call or message first when something significant happens in your life. These are the people you should prioritise on your guest list.
Another approach is to think about who you’d invite to an intimate dinner party. If you wouldn’t invite 200 people out to dinner, don’t feel compelled to invite them all to your wedding. Remember, inviting someone to your wedding is akin to inviting them to a meal, complete with all the trimmings. If you wouldn’t invest that time with them in a restaurant setting, reconsider inviting them to your wedding.
Who Should You Invite to Your Wedding?
One of the first tasks in wedding planning is creating the guest list, which will impact your choice of venue and your budget. For some couples, this is straightforward; for others, it’s more complex. While there are no hard and fast rules for determining who to invite, we’ve put together some basic guidelines to help you decide who’s most important and who can be left off the list.
Essential Guests
These are the people you can’t imagine getting married without—your closest family and friends. This might be just ten people for some couples or as many as fifty for others. Sit down with your partner and ask yourselves, “If we were getting married tomorrow, who would we want by our side?”
- Your Parents
- Siblings
- Best Friends
- Your Children
Important Guests
These are the people you’d love to have at your wedding but whose absence wouldn’t be devastating. They might include:
- Godparents
- First Cousins
- Close Family Friends
- More of Your Close Friends
Guests to Consider Based on Space and Budget
Now we get to the tricky part. These are the people you might want to invite but might need to cut if space or budget is tight. Consider:
- Extended Family (Aunts, Uncles, Second Cousins)
- Plus-Ones for Guests You Don’t Know Well
- Friends You’ve Recently Reconnected With
Guests You Might Feel Obliged to Invite
This diverse group might or might not make the final cut, depending on the size of your wedding. Parents might wish to invite some guests, especially if they’re contributing to the wedding. But be cautious about feeling obligated to invite people like:
- Your Priest or Celebrant
- Next-Door Neighbours
- Friends of Your Parents
- Colleagues
- People Who Invited You to Their Wedding
Tips for Keeping Your Guest List Small
Here are some tips from experts on how to create—and stick to—a tight guest list.
1. Have an Adults-Only Ceremony
Consider limiting your wedding to adults only, unless the children are close family members or friends. While some venues and caterers may offer special pricing for children’s meals, it’s still important to factor them into your overall budget. For some families, keeping the event child-free can make a significant difference.
If you’re worried about excluding children, consider inviting them to your engagement party or rehearsal dinner instead. Alternatively, hire a babysitter to watch the kids during the ceremony at a nearby location.
If you decide to go child-free, stick to it across the board. Allowing some guests to bring their children while others can’t might lead to feelings of resentment. Once you set this rule, don’t waver.
2. Limit Plus-Ones
Restricting plus-ones is an easy way to keep your guest list small. While offering a plus-one can be a nice gesture, it should be reserved for guests who are in committed relationships. You are under no obligation to extend this invitation to everyone.
This is a common way to ensure your wedding remains intimate and within budget. While some guests may ask to bring a plus-one or question why they can’t, remain firm in your decision. If needed, you can explain that it’s due to space limitations, budget concerns, or simply your personal choice.
3. Only Invite Immediate Family Members
It’s traditional for couples to invite members of their immediate and extended families to their wedding. However, consider the size of your family. If you come from a large family but desire a more intimate celebration, you may need to rethink your guest list, especially if you plan to invite friends as well.
It’s not uncommon to draw the line at first cousins, aunts, and uncles. Don’t feel obligated to invite more distant relatives, even if they invited you to their weddings. If someone’s feelings are hurt, that’s an unfortunate but natural consequence. Stand firm and trust that your decision will be respected.
4. Keep It to Your Closest Friends
Similarly, there’s no need to include coworkers, old acquaintances, or friends-of-friends on your guest list. Just because you attended someone’s wedding doesn’t mean you’re obliged to invite them to yours. Focus on your current relationship with them. If you’ve lost touch or never had a close bond, there’s no need to extend an invitation.
If you’re unsure, ask yourself: how would your friendship be affected if you didn’t invite them? Do you care? If so, consider putting them on a secondary list to review after you finalise your primary guest list. If not, leave them off the list altogether.
5. Keep Your Final List Private
Keep your final guest list a secret between you and your partner. If your social circle is small, sharing the list might lead to a barrage of “but what about” questions. Set boundaries before revealing the list to anyone (parents, in-laws, etc.). Make it clear that your decision is final after careful consideration. If you explain that you want a small, intimate ceremony, they should understand.
The only exception is if your parents or future in-laws are contributing financially to the wedding. In this case, it’s fair to allow them a certain number of guests within the overall limit. This way, they can invite a few friends or extended family members without overwhelming your guest list.
6. Don’t Overthink Others’ Reactions
Ultimately, your wedding day is about you and your partner. You’re not obligated to invite anyone unless you truly want them there. If you’re not thrilled about having someone at your wedding, they probably won’t be too upset if they aren’t invited.
However, if someone does feel overlooked, it’s considerate to offer an explanation. Let them know that your decision was based on your budget, venue limitations, or a desire for a smaller celebration. While managing a small guest list can be challenging, it’s perfectly possible to navigate the situation with confidence and tact.
Plan Around Your Wedding Date
With more couples opting for weekday weddings, having a small guest list can be advantageous. While you might worry that key people won’t be able to attend due to work commitments, it’s likely they’ll make the effort for your special day. After all, many people use their leave for occasions like this.
Public holidays like Christmas or Australia Day might be more suited to small, intimate gatherings rather than large, boisterous parties. If your wedding falls on a public holiday, make sure to inform everyone well in advance so they can plan accordingly.
Be Prepared to Offer a Polite Explanation
Given the current global situation, people are more understanding of couples choosing to hold small weddings. If someone questions why they weren’t invited, be honest but tactful. Express your regret that you couldn’t invite more people due to safety concerns or venue restrictions. Emphasise that the decision was made with everyone’s wellbeing in mind.
Consider Streaming the Event
Even if in-person attendance is limited, you can still involve those who can’t be there. Consider live-streaming the ceremony or scheduling a virtual catch-up after the event. Alternatively, ask a friend or your videographer to create a same-day edit of the ceremony to share with absent guests.
Conclusion
When planning an intimate wedding, it’s crucial to tailor your guest list to those who matter most. Whether you’re inviting fifty people or twenty, setting clear boundaries is key to keeping your wedding personal and within budget. Remember, this day is about celebrating with those who have a special place in your heart. By focusing on those who matter most and managing expectations from the outset, you can plan a meaningful and intimate celebration that reflects your personal vision for your special day. This approach ensures that your wedding remains a joyous occasion shared with your closest loved ones, without the stress of accommodating a large crowd.
FAQs About Intimate Wedding
Why Do People Have Intimate Weddings?
Intimate weddings allow you to think outside the box a little! Because you have to host, feed, and entertain less people, you can get more creative with your venue and vendor options. Many venues are now offering more intimate wedding packages,
Why Intimate Weddings Are The Best?
It opens you the doors to the brand-new dimension of wedding reception. Regarding transportation and accommodation, it’s way simpler to organize a small, intimate destination wedding than a big one. It will really get you closer to your guests and guarantee you more time spent together.
Is Having A Small Wedding Rude?
Whether your ceremony venue is tiny or you’re a shy couple trying not to make a spectacle of your vows, if you’re not inviting a large portion of guests to the service, then you should truly keep it intimate. That means including, at most, your immediate family, wedding party and/or closest VIP friends only.
Who Do You Invite To An Intimate Wedding?
In general, a small wedding event has 75 guests or fewer. Start with your immediate family and closest friends for the wedding guest list. Agree with your partner about which extended family members you can include for the special day.
Does Intimate Wedding Need Entourage?
Since intimate weddings have a limited guest list and couples opt for a no-entourage setup, designers can focus on creating beautiful outfits for the bride and groom. When it comes to the style, Jo emphasized that though the wedding party is less than 20, the bride and groom should still look and feel special.
