Wedding vows hold a deep significance in any marriage ceremony, symbolising the promises couples make to each other. Whether steeped in tradition or customised to reflect personal values, vows are an integral part of a wedding. Different religious denominations and cultural practices offer various forms of vows, each with unique traditions. In this guide, we’ll explore various traditional and modern wedding vows, offering insights into how couples can craft vows that resonate with their beliefs and values.
Let’s get straight to the point
Wedding vows are an essential part of marriage ceremonies, symbolising promises of love, loyalty, and support. Different religious and cultural traditions offer unique forms of vows. Protestant and Catholic vows are widely known, focusing on lifelong partnership and faith. Hindu weddings involve the Saptha Padhi, or Seven Steps, around a sacred fire, symbolising shared life responsibilities. Jewish vows often include the exchange of rings, while Muslim marriages involve the nikah, a formal marriage contract. Eastern Orthodox vows can be silent or spoken, emphasising the sacrament of marriage. Nondenominational and Quaker ceremonies allow for flexible, personalised vows, while Unitarian vows focus on mutual growth and respect.
Protestant Wedding Vows
The Essence of Protestant Vows
Protestant wedding vows are among the most well-known and widely used across Christian denominations. Though they may vary slightly depending on the specific church, the core promises remain consistent, emphasising love, loyalty, and mutual support.
Typical Protestant Wedding Vow Example
“I, [name], take you, [name], to be my wedded wife/husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part, according to God’s holy ordinance; and thereto I pledge thee my faith.”
Variations Across Denominations
Different Protestant denominations may include slight modifications to the wording, but the overarching message of commitment and love remains central. For example, some vows emphasise mutual respect, while others focus on the spiritual aspects of marriage. 
Jewish Wedding Vows
Traditional vs. Modern Practices
In traditional Jewish ceremonies, the actual exchange of spoken vows does not typically occur. Instead, the act of marriage is implicit in the exchange of the ketubah (marriage contract) and the ring ceremony. However, modern couples may opt to include spoken vows in their ceremony.
Example of a Modern Jewish Wedding Vow
“Do you, [name], take [name] to be your wife/husband, promising to cherish and protect her/him, whether in good fortune or adversity, and to seek a life hallowed by the faith of Israel?”
Importance of the Ring Ceremony
The exchange of rings is a pivotal moment in Jewish weddings, signifying the legal and spiritual bond. The phrase “Haray at mekudeshet lee,” which means “You are consecrated to me,” is traditionally recited by the groom during the ring ceremony, highlighting the sanctity of the union.
Muslim Wedding Vows
The Nikah Ceremony
In Muslim marriages, the nikah serves as the official contract between the bride and groom, marking their union. Unlike other traditions, vows are not always exchanged vocally but are implied through the acceptance of the marriage contract.
Example of Muslim Vows (for couples who opt to recite vows)
Bride: “I, [name], offer you myself in marriage in accordance with the instructions of the Holy Quran and the Holy Prophet, peace be upon him.”
Groom: “I pledge, in honesty and sincerity, to be for you a faithful and helpful husband.”
Significance of the Nikah
The nikah represents the formalisation of the union in the eyes of both God and the community. Though the exchange of vows may not always be verbal, the act of mutual consent is deeply meaningful, reinforcing the couple’s spiritual and social obligations to one another.
Eastern Orthodox Wedding Vows
Silent Vows and the Role of Prayer
Eastern Orthodox ceremonies often feature silent vows, where couples make private, personal promises to each other in prayer. In some traditions, like the Russian Orthodox Church, vows are spoken aloud.
Example of Spoken Eastern Orthodox Vows
“I, [name], take you, [name], as my wedded wife/husband, and I promise to love, honour and respect you, to be faithful to you, and not to forsake you until death do us part.”
The Importance of Sacrament
The marriage ceremony in the Eastern Orthodox Church is considered a sacrament. The vows, whether spoken or silent, reflect the solemnity of this sacred act, viewed as an eternal bond blessed by God.
Nondenominational and Quaker Wedding Vows
Flexibility in Nondenominational Ceremonies
For couples opting for nondenominational ceremonies, there is often more flexibility in the vows. These can be as traditional or as personalised as the couple wishes, allowing them to express their love and commitment in their own words.
Example of a Nondenominational Vow
“I, [name], take you, [name], to be no other than yourself, loving what I know of you, and trusting what I do not yet know. I will respect your integrity and have faith in your abiding love for me.”
Quaker Tradition and Silent Reflection
Quaker ceremonies, on the other hand, focus on the presence of God and the community. The vows are typically brief and simple, with an emphasis on the spiritual nature of the marriage.
Example of a Quaker Vow
“In the presence of God and these our friends, I take thee, [name], to be my husband/wife, promising with Divine assistance to be unto thee a loving and faithful partner.”
Unitarian Wedding Vows
Customised Vows and Inclusivity
In Unitarian Universalist ceremonies, vows are highly customisable and may borrow from various religious traditions or be entirely secular. The focus is on mutual respect, love, and a commitment to supporting each other through life’s changes.
Example of Unitarian Vows
“[Name], will you take [Name] to be your wife/husband; love, honour and cherish her/him now and forevermore?”
Emphasis on Individual Growth
Many Unitarian vows include a focus on personal growth, encouraging each partner to help the other fulfil their potential. This reflects the Unitarian belief in individual development as an essential part of the marital relationship.
Conclusion
Whether a couple chooses traditional vows that align with their faith or custom vows that reflect their personal journey, wedding vows are a meaningful declaration of love and commitment. The key is to select vows that truly resonate with the couple’s values, ensuring that the promises made on the wedding day are ones they will carry through a lifetime.
FAQs About Wedding Vows
Are Traditional Wedding Vows in the Bible?
Did you know that the traditional wedding vows aren’t in the Bible, but are based on biblical principles? This means you are free to interpret those principles and write your own vows. The bible defines marriage as the joining of two into one, according to Genesis 2:24.
What Are the Modern Wedding Vows?
I vow today to love and cherish you; I commit to doing all that I can to make our life together full of discovery, friendship, and laughter and to spend the rest of my sunrises and sunsets loving you.” You understand me, sometimes more than I know myself. Your eyes can tell me things without saying a word.
How Do You Start Wedding Vows?
This outline is a great place to help you get started.
- Say “I love you.” This seems like a no-brainer, but Honaman says she is shocked at how many couples leave those three little words out of their vows.
- Tell your partner you’ll be there through thick and thin.
- Share personal stories.
- Actually make promises.
Are Marriage Vows Legally Binding?
It’s important to note that vows can be morally and/or legally binding depending on the couples wish. Throughout history, vows have had many meanings and rules, but brides and grooms of modern times are relying on a mix of religion, culture, and personal preferences when planning their ceremonies.
